6:24 P.M.
I ran into another old flame last night.
There I was� all dressed up as a lion tamer..... �TRAMP!�
I could see from the look on his face he was rather disgusted, but I wasn�t sure if it was the costume, or ME?
I haven�t seen him in a long time, and of all the places I never thought I�d run into him out in a club because he doesn�t drink.
I guess it doesn�t matter that I bumped into him out in public because I saw him as Gary was walking me out to my car. It�s just that lately I�ve been wondering how many times I�m going to have to get close to someone before I stop getting burned and just settle down
I got to thinking� I was so involved with the guy I bumped into last night and yet we never lived together. I lived with Kitty for about a year, and never got engaged.
Two totally opposite sides of the spectrum.
Because I didn�t sleep last night, the day today moved by at the speed of sludge.
My phone was ringing off the hook and I just wanted to be left alone.
Literally�
And I got to thinking.. if I lived with anyone TODAY, I would probably go nuts.
I think everyone has things they need to do to settle down after a long day, and your need for alone time is usually amplified after being stuck in traffic.
I got to thinking about Kitty again and how he�d push me away when I�d rush up to hug him when he got in from work. Suddenly I understood.
Today when I got home, the dogs were going crazy to greet me and I just wanted to be left alone.
Why couldn�t I practice more restraint in that department..
How the hell am I supposed to start over again. I can�t imagine sharing my little space with anyone. I don�t have any extra room, for any additional shit.
The hardest thing about living with someone is arguing, and leaving� and then having to go back and live together again. Sometimes we just need someone�a referee if you will to tell us our comments are out of line.
There are so many times I�ve gotten so angry and I wished someone would have told me to get in my corner before I said something stupid.
Rrgggh.
I swear I have A.D.D. I can't shut my brain off to just relax!
