10:17 P.M.
Lately things have been hella-stressful at work and I feel like nobody� I mean NO BODY understands.
I keep getting all these names of new recruits coming across my desk and when I call to tie up the loose ends or confirm their commitment to our program they act as if they have never made the final choice to come on board.
I haven�t found myself this frustrated with work in over a year. There are times when I just want to scream out loud from the pressure but can�t.
It�s not just that simple fact. I start to feel smothered when the guys in the office just linger and hover around my desk like mosquitoes when they could just as well shoot me an email with their questions. Their own lack of patience is making me absolutely nuts.
Sometimes I wonder if I�m in the wrong field. I look around and the other girls I work with don�t seem to get so stressed out as I do, nor do they want to deal with any of the responsibilities I�m faced with on a daily basis.
And don't get me started on the insurance test. I need to remember to schedule that baby tomorrow! I've studied the information and feel more comfortable now that I will pass the test. I just need to get it done!
So much to do... So little time...
It seems that even when I leave the office I still have work thoughts on my mind.
Don�t get me wrong. I love my job, but I like it much more when people actually allow me to do it.
And lately, the girls at work are completely focused on other things than work issues and when I�m trying to meet a deadline, the last thing I need is someone buzzing me just to find out the latest scoop on Captain American, or what my plans are for the weekend.
Honestly�
I have NO plans for the weekend.
I had to take Brinkley in a day early for her surgery and it set me back quite a bit with the unexpected additional out of pocket expenses. Right about now, I wish I still had my old babysitting job for the weekend just so I could fill up my gas tank one more time before next Monday.
I will definitely set my bank account in the negative numbers come Monday when the gym I haven�t seen in months hits my account for the monthly membership fee.
I�m totally screwed right now and I feel there is nothing I can do. No one I can turn to.
I hate feeling like this.
This weekend is totally going to suck. I�m staying with my parents for a couple days because the dog can�t make it up the stairs with the stitches in her tummy. I want her to be as comfortable as possible and don�t want to rush her recovery but I�m going absolutely BONKERS in this place. I can�t stand to listen to them argue one more fucking minute.
I�m at my wits end and almost ready to call one of my friends to ask him to stay with me over the weekend to help carry the puppy up and down the stairs in the case she need to go potty.
The highlight of my night came when I got to watch Grey�s Anatomy. For some reason my tv doesn�t get reception for the channel that show is on, and it�s become my new favorite. Watching that show makes me think of my aunt Kathy and how brave she must have been to switch careers so late in life. She did a complete 180 when she stopped being a lawyer to go to med school after the age of 40.
I guess it shouldn�t be all too shocking because people are starting to live longer lives, and 40 is probably only the half way point in a persons life span.
T went back to school to study medicine and it completely changed his life and he feels more complete. It�s amazing how happy he seems and now he�s scheduled to start the fire department asap.
Watching that show stirs up so many emotions that I can�t explain. It makes me wonder if I should be doing something more along the lines of medicine myself? There was something so great about working in patient care, and education 5 years ago. It added something meaningful to my day-to-day life.
If I had the funds to dabble with it, I would probably look into going back to school and studying for 10 more years to become a nurse practitioner or specialize in helping young asthmas patients.
I guess if you're going to do it, you just have to come up with a standard realistic plan to meet your goals....
Why wait?
Time waits for no man.... or no WOMAN in this case...
