6:19 P.M.
After a horrible break-up, eventually you get back to you true self and it�s one of the most liberating experiences. In time you regain your confidence and become self sufficient and more independent. Your choices are your own and you really don�t have anyone else to answer to. When you make a choice, you don�t have to ask anyone�s permission but you also have to deal with whatever consequences your actions bring without the support of your better half.
My brain is fried from thinking so much.
Even after I�ve truly moved on and met someone amazing and NEW I can�t help but wonder�.
Are we really in love? Are these butterflies just a temporary ailment?
Haven�t I felt this great feeling before? How long will this feeling of complete ecstasy last?
I think back to previous relationships in my life and my mind starts wondering.
What was it that connected me with ANY of the other men in my past? Was it ever as perfect as I had imagined, or was the dopamine just pumping too hard for me to think clearly?
What was it that made me feel so comfortable investing in a future with someone else?
What gave me the feeling that we could have been a couple together for 10, 20, or 30 years?
What was it that made me want to give up so much to make it work in the past?
What was it about our beliefs, our dreams, and our values?
Were they ever truly so aligned in the past?
Is this really the first time I�ve had this?
What makes this any more consistent than my last relationship?
I would call Kitty to ask him, but he would probably think I was calling just to ask him to come over and temporarily fill in some random insecurity I might be feeling. He would probably let my call go to voicemail anyway�. And then he wouldn�t call me back.
I could call Vinny and ask him what broke us apart the last time, over 8 years ago, but I�m pretty sure it had something to do with timing.
I guess I�m just struggling with the question of how involved I should let myself get in a relationship that seems to be taking off way too fast.
I�ve changed my mind again. To be sure I'm ready, I�m not giving up on the dating game. My break is officially over. I have to be sure no other guy makes me feel this way. I�m sticking my neck back out there after a brief hiatus. (For at least another week)
LET THE GAMES COMMENCE!
