12:58 P.M.
I can�t say that I blame the guy. He was with a girl for a few years and practically proposed marriage towards the end of their relationship. Now that I�ve had a long relationship, I can�t say that I wouldn�t give up time with my friends to be with someone I thought was �the one�.
But after 3 years, shouldn�t you be certain about your future as a couple before you break things off time and time again? From what he�s told me, she just didn�t sound ready to commit.
And why is it that the guys in my life feel it�s necessary to use the statement, �to tell you the truth� right before they let you down. I received such a blow once from Kitty last week, and then again yesterday when my buddy told me that he wasn�t allowed to talk to me given the delicate situation he was trying to rekindle with his ex.
I do understand. Don�t get me wrong. I just enjoyed the time we spent, no matter how short the time may have been.
Given our own circumstances as friends, I don�t believe I could whole heartedly give him my all. We are great friends, and although he�s gone, I found a glimpse motivation to move on after I was inspired by his own strength to move on after a 3 year relationship gone bad.
It�s been great hanging out with buddies that I haven�t seen in a long time, and it�s been a while since I�ve offered a friend my advice. It�s been even longer since a friend had honestly followed my unsolicited advice, so I have to say I was surprised that he went back to his ex. I can�t help but wonder if my advice was somewhat fueled by my own recent heart break.
I can�t stand seeing my friends in pain. I�m a yutz when it comes to stuff like that. I find myself acting silly or comical just to inspire a smile.
Letting go of relationships is never easy for me. Not only have I lost love, I have lost my best friend and I had been bricks in the hem of Kitty�s garments for far too long. I just wish I wouldn�t have been so desperate to be loved. I wish I could have opened up my eyes sooner. Friends and family have all told me that they could see his lack of love towards me but never said anything because they didn�t want to upset me. I�ve spoken to Kitty briefly on occasion and he seems much happier now that I�m gone. This Friday we have to turn in the keys to the old apartment, and I don�t expect to hear from him after that.
I am still intent to keep myself busy so I don�t spent so much time overanalyzing things.
I started going back to the gym again and the work out is kicking my butt! I also started taking numbers when offered. This week my schedule is jam packed so the time should pass by quickly.
I think back to when I just wanted time to myself, but it�s the time to myself that will eventually bring me down. I need these distractions!
Before I know it, my sisters wedding will be here. I�ve only got a few weeks to find a date.
