9:35 P.M.
I did some checking up online today and everything the doctor told me last week is starting to make a little more sense.
I am lucky.
I'm not complaining.
Things could have been so much worse.....
They won't have to remove both of my ovaries right away and I still have time if I decide to have kids.
I'm a little concerned that my doctors aren't in a rush to take out the one ovary that is affected though. She said that since I am young I have the option of keeping a close watch on my condition since the last treatment and going in for check ups every 60-90 days.
I haven't been sleeping well lately. I don't know if it's the pain itself, or the worries I have associated with the sudden onset of pain. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to how my body feels lately, and because I can�t actually look down and see what�s going on inside my body I feel like I have less control of the situation.
I also explained to her that I had concern about my sling shot emotions and she told me that, "I seemed totally "normal", and even tempered." She made me feel like I'm just being paranoid about the changes I've been going through with my emotions, but I know that if she spoke to some of the people around me she would see that I'm not the same person I've always been. I never knew my hormones could have such a hold on me.
Part of me wants to believe that if I could understand what provokes my rush of emotions, I think I could have more control and that thought frustrates me.
I just need to relax and stop worrying. I�m not a doctor and I know only bits and pieces about my condition. I need to focus more on trusting someone who actually went to school for this stuff.
Maybe meditation is the route to the solution I seek? I've heard it's brought clarity to friends in the past.
I'll also have to check into going back to Yoga again!
