10:09 P.M.
Watched news special tonight on �Heaven� and it ended off where Barbara Walters was discussing the mystery of life after death and near death experiences. It got me to thinking of my own experiences in the past and the thoughts that ran through my mind.
My world was tossed upside down and my once so important priorities took a back seat to simple things like compassion and kindness behind my every intent. I lived life with intent, not even knowing what its purpose was. I still woke up wanting to be a better person.
As a kid when I was in a coma I can remember there was a bright light, blue skies, and I was on some sort of �people mover�, surrounded by other people who had already passed away.
Later when I was in my early 20�s, I had my first mini stroke I remember sitting there in the hospital bed. My body went into violent seizures and I lost complete control of my every move. I remember the hopelessness and frustration in my father�s eyes as he watched me convulse while attached to the hospital machines. There was a short moment where I remember becoming conscious that I wasn�t looking at my dad from my hospital bed, but from above the bed. I felt a cold shock run through my body, and I swiftly felt conscious of the feeling I was a part of my body again.
I can remember feeling some sort of emotional debt and guilt for things I had done or said to upset people who were once close to me and I was hell bent on making things right again.
More recently when I had my car accident a couple years back, I blacked out for a few moments. When I came to I was only focused on calling Amy to tell her I was okay, and calling my boss to tell him that I was so thankful for all he had given me and that I wouldn�t be back to work right away. I�m not sure if my intent was expressed, because my mom who thought I was half crazy for calling anyone after the accident reiterated my message.
Part of me was so sure I wouldn�t make it each and every time I had a brush with death and I�m still not sure why I made it through each time.
So in order my experiences lead me to feel confused, guilty, and then finally very thankful.
It amazes me that some people go through this same rush of emotions during the holidays.
Coincidence?
Maybe�.
