12:40 P.M.
All I wanted to do was �Grow up.�
When I was a kid I couldn't help but think, "I can't wait to grow up so I can live my life the way I want to live it!!!"
Just one year ago I recall promising myself,
�When I move out on my own I�m not waking up at the ass-crack of dawn to go to JC Penny the day after Thanksgiving just to get a FREE SNOW GLOBE!!!�
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Today I kept that very promise!
The truth is, grown ups seldom have to abide by their parent�s schedule.
If I want to sleep in, I sleep in.
If I want to come home at dawn and stay on the phone all night, I can do it.
As a kid I often fantasized about having time to myself.
I wanted time to myself to do what I want without having to explain or apologize to someone.
Now if I have a guest stay past 9, I don�t have to hide them and keep them quiet so my parents don�t eavesdrop on our conversations.
I�ve finally found time to myself and today I watched, �Sex and the City� without apology.
Thanksgiving was just yesterday and I left out the thing I am most thankful for.
MY PRIVACY!
I sat on my couch today for hours watching season 3 and closely related to Sarah Jessica parkers character as she secretly pined over Mr. Big.
Most girls have a Mr. Big.
When I say Mr. Big I relate closely to a perfect guy who found me at the wrong time.
Timing is very important.
My pitfall came with my need for independence.
I was living with mom and dad and desperately wanted my own space so I could allow myself to be closer to him.
It never worked out in the end. In my quest to find my own personal space, I just ended up pushing Mr. Big further away.
I had frequently wondered if having my own space would allow me to have better relationships but now that I do have my own space I want to keep it.
I don�t want to share my space with anyone.
That is why I will probably die alone and miserable.
No, I don�t mean that.
I�m sure I�ll get tired of having my own space. And someday, I will find the perfect someone to share my space with.
