9:36 P.M.
I came into this job when I came to a fork in the road.
In the past, I had found great success managing a medical office and helped one practice grow in leaps and bounds. We helped patients get well again. Back then, I felt like I had a positive influence on my boss�s practice and patients� health.
It made me feel good to help other people so much.
I decided that no matter what I was going to be doing, I was going to be helping someone else get what he or she wants.
Nothing makes me happier than seeing someone light up when they get what they want.
I had met Steve just after I had made the decision to do something more with my life.
I was successful but wanted to finish school.
I wasn�t sure what I wanted to do just yet, but I was taking baby steps forward.
On the side, I went back to school full time, and started babysitting for Steve�s kids.
I thank God every day for his inspirational influence.
(Wow, has it almost been 7 years now?)
Steve has a powerful motivating influence on everyone that crosses his path.
It was my loyalty and gratitude for all the beauty that he brought into my life that lead me to take the job in his office. Now Steve is my boss.
God knows that I didn�t take it because I like cocktail parties, persuading agents to complete paperwork, or small talk with strangers.
It was his mentoring influence that brought me to this business and now that I have learned more about it, surprisingly, most of the time I love my job.
More than anything, I like doing things that help his business flourish.
At the end of the day I�m usually exhausted, but still so excited about doing it again tomorrow.
I am eternally grateful for the positive influence he has brought to my life. He has changed my perspective on possibilities and my ability to grow in so many ways.
I thought I would be perfect for this job in the licensing department with my managing skills.
I thought I could become an asset to his company, but lately I question that ability.
I question my own management abilities when other people don�t follow through with their promises and I end up feeling like shit.
I literally feel sick.
I depend so much on total strangers keeping their word that I feel like I�m losing control.
It is my own naive faith in strangers that had lead me to be even more cynical than ever.
In my last years experience I have met a lot of great agents who have brought so much to our company but then there are still the few agents who don�t follow through.
It is the small number of agents that screw things up that ruin it for everyone.
They don�t keep their word. Some lie, cheat, and steal from the man that feeds them and
It makes me sick.
I find it difficult to carry conversations with agents now because of my lack of trust and I�ve started to dread these monthly receptions.
Maybe I should just sit them out?
I want to believe in them. I want to think they will do well for the company, but it�s so hard to trust them because more than anything it breaks my heart to see them screw with my boss.
He pours his heart and soul into this company and he deserves more respect.
Boss�s day is coming up soon. I want to get him something to let him know how much he means to me, but I�m not sure how to go about it without being too mushy or emotional.
But when it comes down to it, my life is better off these past 7 years, because of his influence in it.
His family is like family to me. They mean the world to me.
And I have been so stressed out lately that I have considered separating myself from this industry to keep them in my life.
I wish I had all of the answers.
I wish I had what it takes to influence people more to follow through on their word.
Some people try to remind me that my boss is just one person in a world full of people. But his influence means the WORLD to me....
