9:30 P.M.
We woke up somewhat early and headed to the ever-familiar train station again.
As we traveled into the city back to State Street I remember looking around at the strangers on the train and wondering what kind of people they were.
Just then I looked over at Ben as he made a funky face in my direction.
I thought to myself, �I have no clue what any of his faces mean anymore.�
A few years back I thought I could read him like an open book but something about the city seems to have changed him.
I can�t say that I knew him well before I ventured out to the city but a portion of the trip was supposed to be dedicated to getting to know him a little better.
My intentions were quickly discouraged by his defensive gestures. I felt that every time I asked him a question he made a joke out of it so I stopped trying so hard to communicate.
By the time we made it to a quaint little caf� on State Street I was starving and less than picky about where we would actually eat. At this point, I could have probably eaten a whole cow!
I was happy with the place we chose to stop at because I had the worlds best French toast, and I ate so much I could have popped!
After brunch I think we could have all used a nap but we walked over to the Hancock building instead to get our tickets for the tour.
We stopped off at ticket master to attempt to get tickets for the Cubs game and found they were actually playing in Florida so we went back to the Hancock building for the tour.
Once we got up to the observatory I was surprisingly at ease.
I looked over the edge of the building and pressed my face against the glass.
I watched the traffic in the streets below and the city seemed so peaceful from where I had been standing. Everything has the potential to look perfect from so far away....
Ben pointed out neighborhoods in the city and gave me the grand tour. I was so impressed by his expertise and charmed all at once.
While we were up on the top floor Ben decided to get a haircut. He joined a number of people who received haircuts at the highest point of the city.
After our adventure to the top of the world we shopped in the city then headed over to Wrigleyville.
Amy wanted to check it out even though the cubs were out of town.
When we got there she seemed less than impressed.
We ate at a cute little diner and played ski ball and air hockey for a while and then went to see a comedy show at Improv Olympic.
It was so great. I needed to laugh.
The mood of the trip was beginning to feel more tense than necessary and already Amy said she was anxious to get home.
Back home it was storming and I was in no rush to get back to the soggy mess that had washed through what I once called home.
I remember feeling emptiness out of nowhere when we rode the train home to Bens' place.
It was as if all of a sudden I had realized that my apartment wasn�t a home at all.
My apartment is just a place where I store my shit. It has no homely feeling and deep down it�s rather cold and damp.
When we got back to Ben�s place Amy went out in the hall and talked on the phone for a while.
Ben and I sat up talking, flipping through pages of scrapbooks and for the first time I felt like he was letting me in.
I invited him to visit me in Florida and he closed the scrapbook and changed the subject.
I couldn�t help but wonder, �Am I really that miserable to be around?�
Amy came in and took a shower.
Shortly after getting cleaned up, we all called it a night and I asked them to describe themselves in one word.
I don�t remember much after that. I think I may have fallen asleep mid conversation.
I was so exhausted, content, empty, and inspired all at once�.
I slept well.
