5:51 P.M.
Splotched and SOOO SOO SORE, Diary~
So�.
I left work early today and headed into the dermatologist office.
I get there and notice as I�m walking into the waiting room that the clientele is fairly 99% elderly.
The average age in there was 95+.
I guess this is a good thing considering I�m going in here because I think I have cancer, and if all these people are �living� with cancer my odds could be very good at this point.
I filled out some forms and took a seat.
So I waited for about 40 minutes and the nurse finally called my name. I followed her back to an exam room and she asked me how many spots I had that I wanted the doctor to take a look at.
My eyes already started to well up with tears.
The nurse looked a bit uncomfortable so she assured me that the doctor would take a look at everything I was worried about.
She left the room and I scanned the pictures on the wall. This doctor seemed very family oriented. There were pictures of local youth hockey teams and softball teams all up and down the wall.
After waiting about 10 minutes the doctor came in and introduced himself. He seemed like a very nice guy. He told me to hop up on the examination table so he could take a look.
He ran his fingers over my shoulder and up my neck to my face. He made a humming sound and asked how long the spots had been present.
I told him that I wasn�t sure.
He then asked if I wanted the good news.
He walked over to a cabinet and pulled out some informative brochures. He opened up a brochure and pointed to a picture and circled it with a red pen. �Now Kelly, this is what you have. It looks like nothing more than precancerous cells and we�ll do some more tests when you come back in 6 months if we can�t take care of it right away.�
There was a long pause.
�Kelly, do you have any questions?�
Nope. I couldn�t think of anything.
He said that he had more good news and told me that I didn�t appear to have any suspicious marks on my face.
He walked out of the room and left me there for a few minutes on my own.
I flipped through the few pages of the brochure and looked at the people who were worse off than me.
I felt very fortunate to have caught this stuff when I did.
About 5 minutes had passed and I started to wonder if he was going to come back or if the appointment was over.
He then walked back into the room wearing a lab coat and goggles, carrying what looked like A BLOW TORCH!!!!!
I scooted over in my seat to try to distance myself from him.
He said, �We�re going to take care of this right now. I�m going to freeze off what I can of the precancerous cells and you may have a little discomfort.�
He peeled back my shirt that was covering the spots on my back.
�Now Kelly, this may sting a little bit. I want you to lean up a bit.�
I leaned forward and heard him light the torch.
�PCCCCCCCCCCCH�
He applied the torch to my back and I screamed as I gripped the exam table with everything my little claws could!
I was in so much pain that my grip weakened as he counted backwards from 8.
�8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1,�
He paused for a minute and worked his way over to another spot.
I screamed, �Ouch!�
I felt like I was stuck in a bad episode of Sesame Street where The Count is teaching kids how to count to 8!
1 ah, ah, ah�..
2 ah, ah, ah�.
3 blow torches! Ah, ah, ah�.
4 ah, ah, ah�.
5 ah, ah, ah�.
6 ah, ah, ah�.
7�. SEVON BLOW TORCHES�. Ah, ah, ah�.
8�. Ah, ah, ah�
8 BLOW TORCHES!!!
I mean come on now! Could this guy possibly count any slower.
He carefully froze off all of the suspicious spots on my shoulders and made his way around to the point where he was now facing me.
�Ok Kelly, this last one is going to hurt a little more. THAT is why I saved it until last.�
�I knew that if I did this one first you would be in a lot of pain and wouldn�t let me finish the procedure.�
�Now take a deep breath and count with me.�
He stepped closer and applied his freeze torch to my neck.
It hurt so bad that it triggered my gag reflex. I was in so much pain that I got dizzy and wanted to puke.
The doctor said, �There! We�re all done. I have some numbing cream to try to help with some of the pain.�
My eyes got real big and he said, �Yeah, you�re probably going to ask why I didn�t use this miracle cream BEFORE the procedure.�
Well the cream only works AFTER the spots have been safely removed.
�You are very lucky. If you can stay out of the sun you could probably live another 20, maybe 40 years.�
He handed me another pamphlet and walked me out of the examination room.
When it was finally over I made my way out to the receptionist to pay for my appointment. I was being escorted out at the same time another frail old lady was being walked back to another examination room.
I tried to stay calm but inadvertently found myself cursing the pain.
�Fuck! Shit! Fuck! Shit! Dammit! This shit hurts!�
I saw fear in the old woman�s� eyes as she watched me leave.
Every time my clothes rubbed up against the skin that the doctor had FROZEN off my knees wanted to give out from the pain.
I got in my car. I drove home, and called in sick for the rest of the day.
A few hours have now gone by and I still feel like shit!!!
