9:49 P.M.
Friday April 30, 2004
Jo woke up when I got up to use the bathroom and knocked on the bathroom door to tell me he was heading over to check up on Ki-Ki.
I met up with them after breakfast and Ki-Ki said they were going to rent some scooters.
Jo asked if I was comfortable driving a scooter and I said I�d try.
We walked over to the rental desk and Jo asked detailed questions about the contract they were about to sign in order to rent the scooters.
The owner of the shop offered to let me try one out before renting it.
Jo kept saying he was worried about me driving one through traffic and he�d feel better if I would consider NOT renting a scooter.
I got the hint he was throwing me.
I acted like I couldn�t drive the scooter and quickly returned it to the rental desk.
He grabbed my arm as I was walking away from them.
I didn�t even say goodbye before I walked off.
I felt like shit.
I wanted to cry.
�Are you ok with this Kelly? What are you going to do? Our group has already left for Atlantis.�
I told him I needed to get a move on if I was going to catch a cab and I�d find my way around just fine without them. (I was lying)
�I�ll make my way over to Atlantis, and then I�ll pick up some souvenirs for my dad.�
My eyes started to mist, and I turned my head away. He leaned in to try to read my facial expression but he couldn�t tell I was about to cry because I had my sunglasses on.
I pulled my arm free and said I�d catch up with them later.
I started to walk back to the boat and looked behind to see if they had left on their scooters yet.
Jo was sitting in the same spot with a concerned expression on his face, just watching me walk away.
I couldn�t walk back to the boat now.
I didn�t want him to see me give up on the rest of my day.
It was the last day of the cruise and I was ALONE in Nassau. I found it difficult to have fun without them because they had been such a big part of the rest of my trip. Although it was difficult going my own way, I understood Ki-ki�s desperate need to bond with his friend. Jo had spent the past two nights in my room and Ki-Ki was starting to starve for attention and it was making him act defensive towards me every time I ran into him.
I sulked for a few minutes and decided to catch a cab to Atlantis.
I could meet up with some of the other people in my group if I made it over there in good time. I walked around the hotel and casino for about 20 minutes, got bored, and then caught the next cab back to the city. There wasn�t much to see at Atlantis because everything but the casino was closed off to anyone that wasn�t staying at the resort.
My stomach started to growl so I decided to grab a bite to eat. Once I got some food in my belly my sadness started to diminish. Lost in a daze I stopped in every store on the main strip in the city. I spent about 4 hours in the city and then walked back to the boat.
When I finally made it back to the hall where my room was located I ran into crazy Carl. He looked sad so I asked him about his day. The story he told sounded a lot like mine. He started out in Atlantis and ended his day shopping in the city.
As we arrived at my room I said goodbye to Carl and I went in to take a nap. I tossed my things onto my bed and saw that there was a red light blinking on my phone. The red light was next to a button that read, �messages�.
I checked my messages and they were all from Jo. He said that he was just checking up on me and asked me to call him back. Each additional message he left me had more concern than the last.
I waited about 20 minutes before calling him back and he didn�t answer the phone.
I made my way up to the dinning room for dinner, but didn�t see Ki-Ki or Jo up there.
I sat with Brad and Charles and talked business most of the night.
Edith came by and asked where my other half was. I told her I had no clue and she smiled as if she didn�t believe me.
�Kelly, he�s such a nice guy. Just think. Scott met Shelly on a cruise. Jo could very well be THE ONE.�
I wanted to smile but I was too sad.
I can�t even pin point the reason why I am so sad.
Maybe it�s just because I have had so much fun on this boat and Jo shows no interest in seeing me again once we get back to Florida.
I feel like shit.
After dinner I walked back towards my room and ran into Jo.
He said he�d come by to tuck me in but he acted strangely distant which made me feel like shit.
I hadn�t even hooked up with this guy and he was brushing me off.
He followed me into my room and we talked for a bit.
He kissed me on the cheek, and said goodnight.
I started to tear so I faked a sneeze so I could say that it was my allergies that made my eyes water.
The phone rang and it was Ki-Ki.
�Hey Kell, tell Jo that his dinner is here waiting. He can come eat when ever he�s ready.�
Ki-Ki had ordered room service for them because they never made it to the dinning room.
I walked Jo to the door and said goodbye.
It felt like that last goodbye, and it wasn�t what I had hoped for.
I was up most of the night. I couldn�t sleep a wink.
I turned on the radio and Liz Phair was singing, �Why Can�t I.�
As Liz sang, I wondered what Jo was like when he�s not on vacation. I wonder if he�s the same person? I wonder if I�ll miss him after a week or two? Maybe I can forget about him all together. Maybe he�s just itching to forget about me?
Shit, he smokes cigarettes, and the dopes. He drinks, and when I�m around him I turn into a total flake.
Why am I not more annoyed with him?
If I were at home I would be in my element. I would feel more comfortable around him.
I�m packing my bags. I received a letter telling me to put any bags in the hall that needed to be loaded onto the plane.
I finished packing and hit the hay.
