11:09 P.M.
I was driving down Dale Mabry and decided to stop off in the �Adult Store� I had been eying on the side of the road.
�How bad could it really be.�?
I pulled up into the parking lot and a big black hummer immediately followed. I felt so out of place as I looked around and noticed the beat up cars in the run down neighborhood. I hesitated getting out of the car for a moment in an attempt to keep my ambiguity.
As I climbed out of the car I heard a guy talking loudly on his cell phone, �Yeah. I see Tara. She�s getting ready to walk into the store right now.�
There was a long pause in his conversation. I could almost hear a crispness in the air as I felt him starring at me.
I looked up and he continued his conversation, �No. It�s not Tara. She�s probably in the bar across the street. I�m going to stop in the store anyway. I�ve got to see this.�
He hurried up behind me and caught the door just as I had walked in.
The store clerk greeted me as I walked in towards the back.
I looked around and was lost in the thought of being in an �Adult Store�.
I�m 25 years old. I should have done this a long time ago.
As I scanned the room I felt less and less guilty for being there. There were racks of nighties, adult movies, and rubbed dongs of every color and exotic shape that lined shelves along the wall.
The more I looked around the more I noticed. I saw a couple discussing flavored creams and edible panties, and a tall slender chick trying on �stripper shoes�.
I was almost jealous for just a moment as I watched her keep her composure as she strutted down the isle with those platform shoes on her feet.
After walking down the hall the girl threw the shoes in a box and tossed them up onto the counter. The store clerk was chewing gum as she smiled and said, �Is that all?�
When the store clerk shot me a mischievous smile, I decided that I had better get my stuff and get out of there. Things were now becoming weird.
I walked over to the display of rubber dongs and looked for some sign that would jog my memory. I couldn�t recall the exact brand name of dong my friends had suggested so I decided NOT to just buy something to buy it. (Besides, I've been broke for weeks. I'm not wasting money on a rubber dong. I was just curious)I turned around to walk towards the exit and bumped into Mr. Big Black Hummer, Himself!
I was caught off guard when the big guy driving the hummer walked up behind me to give his recommendation.
Matter of fact he damn near scared the shit out of me when he exclaimed, �Buy the JELLY DONG! You won�t regret it!�
I must have turned 20 shades of red because he laughed uncontrollably just watching my expression.
On my way out, I caught a tail end of a conversation as the store clerk was instructing a couple on the proper use of a rubber dong. �Now this one here will need two double A batteries. You can buy them now, or buy them later.�
I smiled and chuckled as I opened the door and walked out to my car.
I turned around to take one last look at the store and the last thing I saw was Mr. Big Black Hummer following me out to the car with a big shit-eating grin on his face that stretched ear to ear!
So much for rubber dongs...
I think I'll just stick to finding a REAL man. It's a hell of a lot less complicated.
