8:15 P.M.
My sister really IS lucky.
She came to see my place and she rummaged through my stocked cabinets with envy.
�Kelly, I wish I had the money to buy food in my place. Mom must have really helped you along.
The truth is, mom didn�t help much at all. She even managed to bounce a check to the complex for my security deposit before I even had a chance to move in. I forked over the cash to her so she could write a check on the spot when I came to view the apartment. I didn�t want to take a chance that someone would come along and take this place while I was running home to grab a fresh pad of checks.
I am however thankful for all of the help my friends and family have provided for me. I�m lucky to have people who want to help.
There are loads of people out there doing this alone without help from anyone.
My sister is lucky in many ways and she doesn�t see it at all.
She is on her way to graduate with her degree in Industrial Engineering in May and she doesn�t seem to be a bit psyched about it. I can understand that a job in that field is very boring, and it�s not in high demand here locally, but she still has something to look forward to. If it doesn�t work out, she can always go back for 2 years to finish her masters in business or something.
While she is out applying for grad school, I am here. I am here in my one bedroom apartment tallying up my list of bills that need to be paid at the end of the month. I�ve never been very good at keeping a budget, and I hope I don�t find myself in a hole come 2 weeks from now because I decided to grab a filet at the steakhouse for dinner tonight.
My sister really has so much going on in her life. She barely has time to answer the phone anymore.
After this year she won�t be swimming as much and her social life will probably slow down a lot more.
Sometimes I wonder how my life would have been different if I would have stuck it out and stayed on the swim team.
Would I have more friends? Would I have earned a scholarship? Would I have gone completely insane from lack of ability to deal with my dad�s criticism?
He once coached swimming and he finds in necessary to suggest certain practices to improve your stroke and your racing times.
Wow, maybe I should look into swimming again? If not swimming, maybe another extracurricular activity that allows me to meet more new people?
Another thing my sister has going for her is a great guy who cares for her. She brought her boyfriend down with her from Toledo and he reminds me so much of Keith. Well, Pre-corrupted Keith. He is like the Keith I knew in high school long before the cigarettes, the beer and the drugs and excuses that he only partied on the weekends.
Wow, I passionately loved that guy!
I ran into Allen 2 weeks back and kept in touch through email for a short time. He once asked me if I ever felt passionate about anyone, and Pre-corrupted Keith was the first face that popped into the back of my mind.
I still wonder now how he is doing.
I haven�t heard from Keith in what seems like a lifetime, but generally only amounts to the time span of a year.
The last time Keith called me he was trying to sell me on taking a job with some independent insurance company. I told him I had taken a job with Steve and I was content working in his office for the time being.
I�d like to call and check up on him but the number I had for him is long gone in a cell phone that died 6 months ago.
So many thoughts run through the back of my mind.
I wonder if he went out to chase the things he was once passionate about.
Does anyone chase his or her passion anymore?
I write.
I read, and I write to quench my thirst for passion and that does it for me.
I don�t need to get out and experience as much when I have time to read, and write.
Wow, I can�t believe it�s already Tuesday. My sister is only in town for a few more days. I�m going to attempt to make plans with her before she leaves and hope for the best.
I�ve always wished we could be closer, but she sends out this stiff vibe that she can�t stand my miniscule existence.
I wish there was a way around this.
Will we ever be as close as �normal� siblings?
I ask myself this question and draw a warm bath.
I need to relax and stop thinking for just a few moments.
If I could just relax, maybe I could manage to catch a decent night�s rest.
I wrap things up and say good night.
