9:15 P.M.
I play the hand I was dealt. It�s not always peaches and sunshine, but I still do it.
I haven�t had much time to myself to think and it�s starting to wear me thin. I heard from Missy for the first time in a long time. She is driving down on her 25th birthday for her grandmother�s funeral.
I question the things I hold close to my heart and wonder how long they will be here before they soon tarnish.
I tell myself that everything happends for a reason. God has this master plan all laid out for me and all I have to do is follow the rules and I won�t get too far in a muck.
I�m a pawn right?
It�s not like that.
All my life I�ve been trying to figure out how to be the �better� person, and though some may look up to me I�m not sure I�ve found absolute meaning in my life.
Some friends wish they could live my life. The "Single" life. I report to no one.
How great is that?
No last call at the end of the day. No progress report to keep, because no one is keeping track.
I'm getting old enough to take care of myself now and there's no congratulations waiting for me at the end of the game that I worked so hard to win.
I look in the mirror.
I'm alone.
I start to feel a little more afraid.
*^*^*^*^*^*
Look at me
A precious moment of surprise
See what you want to see
Then filter your fingers over your eyes
Seeing only what you need
But have no will to provide
Admire my creative lead
And the independence my will provides
I put myself in this position
In this cold distorted place
Like a chronic disease in remission
A facade covers my lack of grace
Home is where I feel safest
Even when I�m alone at night.
I�ve never been the bravest
But I managed to put up the good fight
I ride the wave in
No time to think for myself
Look at where I�ve been
I wouldn�t want to be in the skin of anyone else
I hope this feeling doesn�t go away
Once I�m out on my own.
Worried my sense of security will fade
That morning when I wake up all alone
By:
Kelly T.
