10:15 P.M.
I went out and grabbed a bite to eat with Jenn tonight.
I've been pent up in the house for about a week and getting no better. I decided to take Jason�s advice. He told me that he was sick for a few weeks and then one morning he woke up and DECIDED not to be sick anymore. He got dressed and went out with his friends, and after a few hours of normal behavior he started feeling a LOT better.
As unbelievable as his story was, I was willing to give anything a try.
I picked up Jen at her place and we drove around for a while trying to think of a new place to eat.
We drove to Tampa and during the long drive our light conversation soon turned heavy.
"Kelly, how do you know when you're in love? I mean, I'm getting ready to get married and I hear all these stories from people who tell me that they knew they were going to marry the person that they are with from the moment they first met. Hearing stories like that gives me second thoughts."
I nodded my head and offered her my honest opinion.
"Well Jen, I'm probably the wrong person to ask because every guy I had ever considered settling down with felt perfect from the start. I honestly couldn't see myself settling down with any of the guys who were just so-so. I mean, I've dated a lot of guys and every day I wake up wanting to feel like I have fallen in love with someone at first sight. I'm not going to settle down until I find that. I know for a fact that it's out there because I've felt it before, and it's just a matter of time until Mr. Right dances into my life."
She went on to discuss her feelings and once again I felt so happy that I wasn't in a serious relationship.
I'm happy to be single.
As hard as it is during the holidays, I know that it's only temporary.
I assured her that her doubts were natural, and told her that it will all work out the way it should in the end.
"Just have faith Jen, just have faith."
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After driving around for a while, we hit up the small quaint restaurant that Brad and BJ brought me to one day after we all got out of work. The food portions are small but the idea is to order a few things off the menu and pass them around for the whole group to try.
The dinner choice was a huge success.
Jen loved it.
We cruised over to the old restaurant for desert and ended up sitting in a new girls section because Jamie, and Jason's sections were already full.
Jason came by and asked about the new job. Jen watched attentively and gave me "the eye".
When Jason walked off she smiled, "Now that's a guy I could see you spending the rest of your life with Kelly. He's totally hot! He listens well, he's intelligent, he's witty, he's funny, and he seems like an all around great guy."
I smiled back and whispered, "He's a writer, AND he's TAKEN! He's married and has a baby on the way. You are right though Jen, he's a great guy!"
After desert we made our way home. We said our goodbyes, and here I am.
I'm home, alone.
I'm sitting in front of my computer, winding down for the night, and getting ready for bed.
I've been having some strange dreams lately and the curiousity that accompanies those dreams is driving me mad.
I actually wish I would have gone to work last week.
Not hearing those familiar voices in the background when I am desperately trying to concentrate actually makes me feel like I am missing out on something.
I miss the guys in the office.
I miss the smiles, I miss the jokes, and most of all I miss the company.
*^*^*
I have a million thoughts running through my mind at a million miles per hour....
Most of all I am thinking of those comments that Jen and I had made tonight about cheese sandwiches, and the role that timing plays in a relationship. (From the movie, "Love and Sex.")
I could go for a cheese sandwhich right about now.
^*^*^*^*^
Dinner was great but I'm pooped!
*^*^*
My nose is all blistered from using tissues and my body feels like rusted metal.
My bed is calling my name....
"Kelly.....
Kelly......
Come to bed...."
So here I go.
