11:25 A.M.
Yesterday I had already been running late all day, and when it came time to get ready for the Christmas party I was falling apart all over the place.
I thought I would never make it out of the house. My whole body felt like it weighed a ton and I had the grace of a bull in a china shop!
I couldn�t even get my make-up on straight. Every time I went to draw eyeliner around my eyes, it just kept smearing.
At the last minute before I was walking out the door I realized that my nails looked hideous. I zipped on a quick coat of pink polish and when I went to screw the cap back on the polish bottle, I dropped the nailbrush in the lap of my sexy blue diamond studded dress.
I wanted to cry, but I knew it would run my makeup again.
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I finally made it to the restaurant, and I was 15 minutes late because the guard at the resort gate gave me terrible directions. I should have known not to ask directions from someone who looks like Barney the purple dinosaur.
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I sat down at the table and noticed that everyone was dressed up, but they were also dressed very conservative. I dreaded taking off my jacket, so I left it on even when I was sweating.
I sat between Kim and Scott and they had already been drinking all night. They kept urging me to try all these different drinks but I hesitated to accept their offer in fear that I would have to drive myself home.
It was great to sit next to Kim. I got a chance to get to know her a little better, and she's an amazing woman.
Laurie and Eddie sat across from me while my boss and his wife were at the head of the table. The rest of the staff sat at the other end with Edith.
I was so happy to have sat with the "Cool" crew.
Laurie was so hammered. She kept announcing sexual comments to the entire restaurant and Eddie started to look embarrassed. He cut her off from consuming any more alcohol but she snuck a shot every time he left to use the restroom.
Eddie tried to take control with little success.
Laurie stood up, "I like it doggy style baby!!"
Eddie just rolled his eyes, and tugged at her elbow instructing her to take her seat.
After we ate dinner I finally caved. I ordered one of each drink that they had recommended.
When I stood up to walk to the bathroom the room started to spin, so I knew I had a buzz. I became more comfortable after I broke the seal and decided to remove my jacket.
Scott looked over and his eyes looked like they would bug right out of his head. Kaleb leaned over Scott and announced, �take off your coat and stay a while.�
When Laurie had noticed that I removed my jacket, she started another sex conversation. Somehow her conversations lead into boobies. She proclaimed to the entire restaurant that she was in the I.B.T.C., and she wanted a boob job. (Itty Bitty Titty Committee). In a poor attempt to calm her down her husband said that her boobs were great because she had 3 nipples.
Laurie threw our group another shock when she whipped out her 3rd nipple right there at the dinner table.
The waiter was shocked. He leaned over to my boss and appeared to have made a comment about the chic with the triple nipples.
My boss rolled his eyes and asked for the desert menu.
Kaleb kept buying rounds of shots for everyone and shortly after that we were all hammered.
Not long after the 10 rounds of shots Laurie announced that we were all going out dancing.
I was psyched.
�BRING IT!�
So, all of the people who were sitting at the �COOL� side of the table pilled in the limo and headed to brick town.
Laurie hung her bra from the rear view and stuck her head out the window to broadcast her accomplishment to the world.
My boss� wife told me that she�d make sure I�d get home fine if I wanted to drink so I totally let loose.
On the ride to the club Kaleb had the driver stop at a liquor store to restock the limos� liquor cabinet. He mixed drinks for the entire �COOL CREW�.
I was sandwiched in the limo between Michael and Scott and Scott kept proclaiming that someone had farted. After about the 30th comment I finally told him to stuff it.
�Scott, no one is farting, it�s your upper lip.�
He looked over at me as if he was pissed and squished me into the seat.
We finally got to the club and we were all ushered into some VIP area where we were given free shots all night.
(I�m sure they weren�t �FREE�, it was just that my boss was buying.)
Kim, Laurie and I headed up to one of the podium dance floors and cut a rug. Everyone in the club was starring but I didn�t care. We were having so much fun.
After the girls had been dancing for about 3 or 4 songs the guys came out to join us.
It was great.
We danced all night for about 4 hours.
After about 4 hours of dancing, and my feet were ready to fall off we pilled back in the limo.
Michael was bartender and started passing out more drinks.
The driver slowly dropped off Kim and Pat, which gave some of us time to sober up. Secondly the driver dropped off my boss and his wife, and finally he dropped off Laurie and Eddie.
When the larger portion of the �Cool Crew� had been dropped off we had an enormous amount of breathing room in the car. I went to the back of the limo and sat between Scott and Kaleb.
I heard Kaleb make a comment about how it�s a shame you can�t dip your pen in the company ink and I couldn�t help but laugh at him. I thought he had taken offense to the comment because he rolled the window down and put his head out, but he was just trying to get some air.
When we got to the country club to pick up our cars he invited me back to his place, but I had to decline. There was no way I was going to drive 30 minutes out to Tampa after drinking all night.
He leaned over to kiss me and I got out of the car.
For the rest of the night I kept thinking, �what the hell was that? I�d better not get fired for something cheap like that.�
I came home and crashed. I was dead tired, and my feet were throbbing from dancing in uncomfortable shoes.
The corporate Christmas party was great!
I�ve got to say it�s one of the best parties I�ve ever been to.
