2:49 P.M.
I saw Jims' friend Matt today......
Matt used to follow Jim around like a lost puppy dog. The guy never said much, but he was ALWAYS there with Jim. He usually hid somewhere in the back ground....
He was always the guy, behind the guy, who was behind THAT guy....
I was shocked, because Matty was in my dream just last night.
He looked exactly like he did 6 years ago. You�d think a guy would change in that amount of time.
I saw him sitting on a bench at school by himself just starring down at his shoes.(wearing the same striped shirt he wore every day 6 years ago)
He still slouches and smokes "to be cool".
I was pretty sure he didn�t recognize me so I kept walking.
I wanted to stop to say hello.
Hell, I wanted to stop and interrogate him.
I wanted to ask him so many things�
I had so many questions running through my mind all at once.
�What happened to Jim?
Is Jim still around?
Is Jim still a virgin?
Is Jim still afraid of his mother?
Is Jim still telling lies to keep people from pushing him away? On that note, does he still call it honesty?
Why did Jim spend so much time driving by my house if he wanted NOTHING to do with me? He lived 20 minutes away....
Does Jim still share a car with his brother?
Is Jim an engineer yet?
Does Jim have any kids?
Does Jim ever talk about me?
Is Jim single?
What�s Jims� number?
Hell, take me to Jim��
Ok, Ok�.
OKAY! I�m obsessed! I know this! There isn�t much I can do about it.
I think I find myself obsessing more and more about the things that I never had control over when I�m already under a great amount of stress.
This is just a phase. It will fade�.
It�s not like I can just come out and say, �Ya-know�(long pause as I scratch my head)
Matt, I was thinking�.(long pause, as I look at my shoes)
Maybe you could take me to see Jim?�
He would smile, and then maybe throw me a little sarcastic chuckle.
He�d probably say, �Yeah right Kelly. He�d kill me. Besides, he doesn�t like you so-much anyway.�
All of a sudden I'm 16 again......
* It�s still ok to fantasize; it�s ok to dream right?*
