3:19 A.M.
We went out tonight for another run at the Round Up.
I saw some old friends, and then some.....
Some what?
I saw "Snot-Nose Brian", and Nasty ass Michelle.
She hasn't changed one bit. I won't even go into detail about how nasty she is, because it's a waste of time.
*^*^*
Heidi and I got a late start tonight.
We were a little confused when we pulled into the parking lot and couldn't find a spot to park in.
"It's never this busy on a Saturday night."
When we got inside we saw that it was wall-to-wall packed!
Not long after we walked through the door we started meeting more and more new people. Everyone who stopped us was from out of town and had never been to a country-dance club before.
One guy started talking about his hometown of Wichita. He seemed nice but I stopped listening shortly after he got into his story because my mind started wondering off on it's own. I started thinking about Glen and Ben and realized I hadn't returned their calls lately.
I should definately make an attempt to call them back.
I've just been so busy lately that I haven't been up for much conversation.
I find myself avoiding the phone like the plague.
I went back out onto the dance floor and did every dance that I knew.
I tried hard but my mind kept wondering back to the things that bring me down.
I tried to think of happier times.
I kept thinking back to that one night where Lauren and I had taken the Red Neck Asshole up to the Round Up to dance with us.
He was great. He entertained us for hours with his mockery of the other red necks in the bar. He was a real pro!
As I gazed around the room I almost thought I saw him in the distance.
Some guy walked up to me and asked if I was married.
"Um, no. Not so much."
He replied, "Well you are wearing a ring on your wedding ring finger, is that to deter guys like me?"
I should have said yes.
I should have said yes!
"Why does it even matter if I'm married? It's not like I'm going to take a guy in a bar seriously."
He pulled me over to a table where Heidi had already started talking to the other guys who had gathered there.
That guy!
That guy who resembled the red neck ass hole was sitting there.
I froze up.
I completely froze.
I had just been thinking about him a moment ago and this guy who was a complete clone was sitting there in a halo of smoke.
He asked what I was looking at in a condescending tone.
I didn't answer him but instead went back out to the dance floor to try to get those silly thoughts out of my head.
I couldn�t shut my brain off. I kept thinking,
"I wonder what he's up to these days?"
�I don�t even like him!�
�Ok, I don�t hate him.�
"I wonder if he ever thinks of me?"
"He probably forgot all about me."
Heidi watched me mess up time and time again and she could see a change in my eyes and she kept asking me what was wrong.
Nothing is WRONG, I'm just deep in thought.
She rolled her eyes when I refused to disclose the context of my deep thoughts.
I couldn't turn my brain off.
"Where did things go wrong?"
"Where they ever right?"
"Get out of my head! Get out of my head! Get out of my head!"
I shook my head and realized I had been doing the wrong line dance to the wrong song.
I had no clue what I was doing. I was surprised that I hadn't bumped into someone sooner.
I crashed into some drunken guy and gracefully walked off the dance floor.
After another hour of torturous thought we finally decided to come home.
I'm home now.
I'm clean.
I'm ready for bed, and still thinking....
"What the hell happened"...
And why do I care?
