4:31 P.M.
Single isn�t always what�s it�s cracked up to be.
There are times in the day where I actually look down at my watch as if it could tell me what to do with my spare time.
�It�s been ten minutes and I�m still bored out of my mind.�
I glance at my watch again.
�It�s only been 3 minutes and 13 seconds.�
A week ago I wouldn�t have this time. I would pick up the phone and call him to say, �Hey, what ya doing? Let�s meet up for, whatever.�
If Shanna and Missy were here they would say, �Go girl. Go jump in, you don�t have to swim, but jump in the dating pool and start treading water!�
I would shrug, and blush.
�Go on girl! Get in there. If you�re not going to tread water, get yourself a kick-ass raft and at least take a look at the scenery.�
I�m not interested.
�Kelly, you don�t have to spend the rest of your life with these guys. Just go out on dates. Brush up on your best comebacks for those lamo pick up lines, dust off those tight Brittany Spears jeans, throw on some makeup, and get out there damit!�
I�ve heard that imitation, and replacement make it easier to move on but I�m just not ready to do it yet.
I�m still weary about some guy becoming needy and too clingy after a few weeks.
I think to myself,
�You guys don�t understand. I�ve tried. Ok, maybe I haven�t tried, but I�ve looked.�
I�ve scanned the scenery on campus and the eye candy that I can find all looks a little green around the edges.
I�m not really talking about age at this point. The guys that are single just seem a little�. Well, they don�t seem to be my type.
What the hell am I talking about? I don�t even have a type.
After I start this new job I�m hoping that I won�t be spending so much time glancing at my watch.
I�ll find something to occupy my time.
I don�t want a relationship.
*^*^*
All this �single� talk has got me thinking.
I know I should be positive, But lately I�ve been thinking of the worst dates I have ever been on.
There was snot nose Brian. He was soo hot. I remember the night we met. I was going up to the Italian restaurant just after �The Red Neck Asshole�, had decided we weren�t going to work out for the long haul.
I saw them sitting at a candle lit table in the corner with an older woman.
I did a double take, so sure that the man sitting with my X was Ben Affleck.
My heart skipped a beat and I walked up to the table.
Conversation started immediately, and my X introduced me to Brian and his mother. Shortly after introductions he made it very obvious that we were not an item anymore by saying, �Yeah, we broke up but she�ll always be my best friend. You guys should go on a date!�
My face turned red and Brian grabbed my hand.
I accepted the date.
We went out to dinner and a movie and Brian turned out to be a total nightmare.
He spent most of the night talking about the psycho girls he had dated, and all of his stories seemed so far fetched. I stopped listening after he tried to take credit for inventing the space shuttle.
(I kid, I kid, I only kid�)
I had to steer the conversation away from my cute ass at least 7 times, and that is never attractive.
I can think of a million and one better things to talk about. I�d rather not talk about getting naked on our first date please�
We finished dinner and just before he stood up from his chair he wiped snot all over his arm. He snorted what sounded like a loogie, and wiped snot on his arm again.
GROSS!
That was fucking gross!
We headed to the movie and the night didn�t get much better. He spent most of the night burping up carbonation from his biggie coke. His breath was so bad that I could smell it from my seat. He reeked of butt. I wanted to puke right there.
After the night was over I told him I would see him around, but never heard from him again.
I�m sure my x made it sound even worse the 2nd or 3rd time around based of the fact that I never heard from Snot Nose Brian again.
*^*^*
This dating thing could be cool after a matter of time.
I am looking forward to starting this new job so I can afford my own bachelorette pad. Watching the boys lately made me realize something about myself. I'd like to put together a great living space.
I'm going to invest in a comfy couch, a nice stereo, a game system, and A HUGE, Big screen TV.
I�ll have to post more nightmare first dates later. I�m on my way to grandma�s for dinner, and then I'm off to see Lauren..
