11:33 A.M.
Last night while I stayed home waiting for phone calls I didn't realize that my phone was dead.
No wonder the phone never rang. It wasn't even turned on.
I guess everything does happen for a reason. If I were to go out last night I probably would have come home plastered again. I would have woken up this morning still feeling like shit, and not have solved anything....
I'm not sure what time I gave up on waiting to hear the phone ring. I'm not sure what time I actually hit the sack. Even after I fell asleep, I don't think I got any rest.
I had more strange dreams all night long.
I wish I could turn my brain off, but listening to Howie Day isn't going to help.
He sings,
"1000 years ago today
we as two would be the same
i'd fall for you
customized relationships
do you feel the same about
your flirt with love
and your certainty
-
the cia wouldn't bother you
but they would always know the truth
they'd never know who came
and i would fall 1000 miles
and you would fall fast to denial
-
the more you are
the more you need
the more you'll understand
the more you'll understand
the more you know
the more you feel
the more you'll understand
-
the sentiments are screaming out
the felony of who's left out
it's not you
it's you for me - me for you
we can always follow through
this makeshift date
but why give up your love
-
the way it goes
call her name
do you ever feel the same
and do you know who came
a year ago 1000 miles
how far away we were to smile
too far gone to save
(chrous)
you'll know
the cia is after you
what the hell is there to do but run
we made a promise to eternity
tucked away for you to see
on you're way you'll be
baffled by relationships
psyched up for the major lift
what you want to say
you're caught to blame
they erased your name
we will always be the same
the same
"
That man is such a great writer!
When I sat down and listened to this song for the first time, I felt as if he were singing to me about all of my broken relationships. He says that if you take the time to feel love for someone, you will better understand why they love you. I find myself running from love, the same way someone may run for a rabid dog foaming at the mouth...
Maybe if I took the time to know love, I wouldn't run or be so afraid of losing it?
I may never know....
#6!
The past is the past, the present is the present.....
Damn, I love listening to this music. I can relate to almost every song I have heard him sing. All of these songs bring me back to last summer, when I decided to start a plan to finish school.
I'm almost finished with school and part of me feels as if there is still a puzzle piece missing.
I had a dream about "the red-neck asshole", and for just a moment wondered what he could be up to. My mind didn't wonder very long because my conscience chimmed in and said, "REMEMBER #6!" Never looking back!....Now that I've listed out some of my goals, I really need to start implimenting them before I forget all about them.
I know it's getting late in the day, but breakfast is starting to sound very nice.
I should call Heidi and Lauren to ask them to join me, but I don't have a lot of time before I have to head back into work.....
