2:13 P.M.
I woke up late today. My mind is scattered into a million pieces....
I saw that dad never made it out of bed this morning. He must have been waiting up for my drunken ass to pull into the driveway at the ass crack of dawn.
I should have called home and just stayed in Larghetto.....
*^*^*^*
I'm happy that I'm not hung over, but I still feel drunk.
How much did I actually drink?
I know we started off the night with some special concoctions that Jess came up with on his own, and then resorted to beer.
YES I SAID BEER!
I hate beer, but I must have put away at least half a case before I stopped counting.
I want to drink again. Part of me doesn't care about sobering up.
FUCK WORK!
I had some strange dreams, no doubt caused by the partying last night.
I should call JBV and see if him and Lisa want to play a round of cards tonight.
My priorities have taken a ride down the porcelain queen.
I've finally let go of some of the things that mean more to me than money, success, and fame.
At least I don't feel like I have to call and check in with anyone....
I should feel better right?
WRONG O.
I took time out to write a better letter for Kitty last night to try to explain things a little better, but it was probably a waste of time�.
Oh forget it.
I don't even want to think about it.
*^*^*
I want to drown myself in boos and forget about life....
I woke up to a message this morning from a good friend who was worried that I may be slipping further and further into depression� "Kelly, what the hell is going on? Your facade is fading, and I'm seriously starting to worry. You can't just keep turning the other cheek. I know what is going on. You can't hide forever. I can't believe you didn't tell your friends what is going on with you. Don't you think it's a little selfish? Do your parents even know about this? What can I do to help?"
WHAT DO THEY KNOW!
I�ve been dealing just fine thank you very much! (sarcasm fills my voice).I've been dealing so well, I don't know what to do with myself.
This is probably just one of those mid-life crises? Who knows?
Maybe.....
Remember, IT DOESN'T MATTER!
This too shall pass, and good things will come around again.
Friday was supposed to be the BIG day. The chance to start a new job, but I haven't heard back from Steve yet.
Another thought that has entered my mind lately. "THE AIRFORCE!"
Hell, if Kennedy and Eric can do it, why can't I?
I'll finish my AA this semester and ship out in the winter for boot camp.
I'll go up to the recruiting office tomorrow, if I don't hear from Steve by then.
I still want to get the hell outta DODGE!
Keep on truckin�
I hear a sarcastic voice echo in the back of my mind
"Keep your head up girl! You are happily single, remember...."
But ask yourself, Where is the love�.
