2:22 P.M.
I don�t know what the hell is wrong with me. I know that I think about him when he�s not around.
I can�t eat.
I can�t sleep.
I hate feeling like this.
^*^*^*^
Who have I become?
Who did you want me to be?
My insides feel numb
And it hurts to look inside of me
I fall down upon my knees and cry
Wanting to give up and give in
Wanting to say good-bye
Wanting to forget where I have been
You could never feel
What I have so deep inside
Feelings I deny are real
Trying so damn hard to run and hide
You inspired my beginning
You brought about many positive defeats
My whole world is spinning
And I no longer feel complete
Every time my head wanted to walk out
My heart told me to stay
You pacified my doubts
With all of the silly word play
I don�t like to get lost in the mushy stuff
Or the simplicities of lust
When you said that you thought you found love
I wrongfully assumed that it entailed trust
I wanted something substantial
Something more than the past
Not something superficial
Not just a fling to prove that I could make something last
You said that you miss my presence
You say you would get lost in my eyes
Validating my existence
Becoming so much more than the other guys
My heart became a token to you
Never to be displayed on a mantle
There is nothing my heart can do
To overcome the jealousy you know you won�t handle
I feel I�ve been ripped at the seams
My insides are torn apart
Once not willing to sacrifice my dreams
Instead I chose to follow my foolish heart
I didn�t apply for school
I wanted to stay closer to what felt home
Now I feel like a fool
And feel as if I would have been better off alone
I searched and found a heart that depended upon my own happiness
And I felt my mind lose it�s nerve
I gave in to my own resistance
Now I cry these tears only a fool would deserve
You were a friend to me
And then so much more
I was in love with the man you wanted to be
But that is something I cannot see anymore
I couldn�t feel much worse
And I�m too tired to talk
I wish I could take away the hurt
I wish I had the energy to pack up and walk
You say your doubt is in someone else
And that you still believe
I just want to be by myself
Away from your eyes that deceive
You made me feel like someone I'm not
With your comment about his gaze
Like a cheap girl to get you hot
Or just another slut to get you through a rebellious phase
I don�t want input from my peers
I don�t want the comfort of another mans arms
I don�t want to cry these tears
I don�t want to face your tender charm
I don�t want tender love songs
I don�t want another rainy day
There is nowhere my heart belongs
As she fills herself with so much dismay
I wish I could forget
I wish I could get out of town
I feel like another token of your regret
As emptiness covers the happiness I thought I once found
Kelly T.
