3:27 P.M.
Why do I get so frustrated and disappointed when things don�t go my way?
The world isn�t fair. The world does NOT revolve around me. Eventually everyone is going to have a day that just does not work out for the best. Everyone has a day where they feel like they have no control over anything, where they feel that they would be better off dead.(maybe that's a little over doing it, but some days are really bad.)�
I was hit with a harsh realization today. I realized that sometimes when things are going really bad, they aren�t as bad as they seem.
Ok, let me explain.
Years ago, I went to a high school in a smaller town. All of my friends lived fairly close and one of my nearest and dearest was always right around the corner.
I lived in a large 3-bed room house, and I had my own room. I would spend a lot of time in my room escaping my crazy family. I had the ability to work hard to get the things I wanted. I worked for myself. No one depended on me. I had privacy and space for all of my favorite things. I covered my walls with posters, and had a closet full of clothes, most of which I never wore.
One day I came home from school and heard that my dad had lost his job and we were going to have to move into a small two-bed room house in a new neighborhood. We were also going to lose one of the cars, and we were going to have to sell some of our things to have money to buy groceries. I now had to work for someone else. I had to contribute to a family I so desperately wanted to get away from.
I had 4 days to gather up my belongings, and I had to decide what sentimental items I would bring with me. Since I would not have any storage space, my mom advised me not to pack any �junk�. I couldn't bring any of the posters or collectibles because we were not alloud to hang anything on the walls in the house we were renting. RENTING SUCKS!!!!
It was so hard parting with some of my things. I even had a hard time parting with the things that I barely used.
Two bed rooms and one bath just didn't seem like enough for 4 people who couldn't stand each other..
I was in hell.
I hated it so much.
I thought I would never get over having to give so much up.
I no longer had privacy and I had to share all of my things with my sister. (Those of you who have had to share things with siblings your whole life understand what I mean. It�s just frustrating knowing that you won�t get to have full use of anything. Things get worn out faster, and other things end up getting broken.)
I had no car, or means of travel other than walking. I had no way of purchasing a car because most of my money was going to mom.I desperately longed for my own space...
We lived close for a few years, and then my grandfather died.
After his death my sister went off to college.
Just as I was getting used to her being there, she was gone. That is when I realized that it wasn't her that I despised. I hated being around anyone who was always in my face. I was just angry that I had no space to call my own.
Ok, what I am getting at is that for so long I have missed the privacy and solitude I once found in that room of the old house. I actually missed the house itself. I often dream about being in the house, and I used to think I would go back and buy the house if I ever won the lotto.
Today we drove by the old house. It�s cracked and breaking because it�s situated on top of a sink hole.
I thought things were bad having to move, being poor, having one car between 4 people who had seperate jobs and seperate lives, but the more I think about it I guess we would have been screwed even if we stayed. Since dad lost his job we haven't had much money. Staying in that house with no money would have sucked. We wouldn't be able to do much about the sink hole, and we'd be more miserable.�
I can�t think of a better example to remind me not to get so upset and disappointed when things don�t work out the way I�d like them to, or the way I had planned. Everything happens for a reason, and I�m pretty happy with the way things are turning out on their own�.
I'd like to think that since high school, I've learned to sit back and take things a bit better as they come along, but no one is perfect...
You can't do much to steer clear of the inevitable, so you might as well do your best to deal with it...
