1:51 P.M.
I missed the ending of Dawson's River Kids last night.
Joey stopped by just as the show was ending.
I had told him in the past to stop by the next time he was in the neighborhood.
I was working on cleaning my room at the end of the show so that I could make it to the Matrix and still feel like I had finished something.
Joey came in and went to talk to my dad and then came into my room. I was folding clothes and he tells me he is starting his own business. He has a new car that he is going to fix up and maybe sell in the future. The conversation was minimal and I was somewhat agitated and worried that I wouldn't make it to the Matrix in time.
Part of me wanted to be hospitable, but part of me was angry inside....
Part of me was still livid, as I remembered a comment he made on the phone a while back.
I had asked him if I could meet up with him and Troy because I hadn't seen them since the Christmas party. He laughed and asked, "wouldn't that be a little weird for you?"
um.... NO...
Why would it be weird for me?
He went on to say, "Well we hang out, we talk."
So....
Big deal.
"Well wouldn't you feel uncomfortable being in the same room with Troy and I?"
No...
Why would I feel weird Joey?
"I dunno?"
Then he had to get off the phone....
Curt called a few days ago to ask how I was holding up.
What is that supposed to mean?
Curt asked, "So how's Troy?"
He knew better than I would. Troy hasn't called or written in a while and he's probably forgotten all about me.
I told him I hadn't heard from Troy and he said he knew. He had spoken to Troy a few days ago and all he could say about the situation was that Troy had mentioned that after him and Joey were hanging out things got a little weird....
What the hell is going on?
Why would things get weird?
Troy had been my best friend for so long, he was something special. He meant the world to me....
So to say the least last night when I saw Joey I was torn. I felt angry because I had no clue what was going on between him and Troy and I had never expected things to get weird.
I never made things weird.
And why the hell would I come up in conversation?
My life isn't really all that interesting....
Dammit...
I know why I had nightmares... I'm confused and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.
It's out of my hands...
I have to focus on something else...
I'm going to work today and then I'm meeting up with my friends at the bar for our discussion about the things that don't really matter. Maybe I just need their deep intellectual conversation to distract myself from what is really going on....
Dammit! I can't believe I missed the final ending of Dawson's River Kids...
