12:55 P.M.
�Do ya ever wish you knew what tomorrow would bring before it came traipsing on your doorstep?�
Of coarse I do�
On some days, especially those days when it seems so important to get the things I want.
Last night at dinner we had a conversation about high school. I don�t feel I was very active in anything when it came to high school.
I remember actually swimming on a swim team for another city, rather than supporting my high schools team. But I think that had to do with the fact that most of the people on the swim team at my school didn�t like me so much.
I cheered for a different high school, and when I entered writing contests I never did it to support our high school. I never even admitted attending the school.
Call me crazy� But I felt like I was going to school on a different planet.
Gabriel said that he would go back to high school. He said there are a few things he would change, knowing what he knows now. It�s not like he has regrets, he just feels that he�s learned a lot since high school and it could benefit him if he knew what he knows now back then.
Stew, he didn�t have much to say. Maybe he did? Maybe I wasn�t paying attention. I was so concerned about Gabriel all night. Wondering why he was such a sourpuss.
Stew and I are going to be attending USF for the same degree. We do have some things in common. I just don�t understand why he�s taken a sudden interest in my life. Was it the bikini?
We all sat around Gabriel�s pool yesterday and they kept starring at me. Yes, I felt uncomfortable. I considered NEVER wearing a bathing suit again.
Gabe was acting too strange.
I can�t honestly help Gabe. I don�t think he wants my help. I just work well as a brief distraction from his day-to-day life. I�m the one having conversations with him like, �How was your day?� �How was class?� �Seen any good movies lately, or bought any great music, what can you recommend for�. Blah, blah, blah��
He�s become somewhat impersonal. Maybe it�s because I don�t call him. Maybe it�s because I�m too busy to chat lately.
Maybe he needs someone to talk to and I haven�t been as available as a friend should be.
I�m going to call him tonight� ALL EARS! I�m going to attempt to cheer him up�
Spending time with all these guys this past weekend has made me nuts on my down time. I have been thinking about this gaping void Troy had left. I don�t have a best guy friend anymore. I miss that.
The closest thing I have right now is the doctor, and he doesn�t even know me. He just appears to care a little more than the other people I surround myself with. He listens so well, but still I don�t want to talk about the details of my life with a stranger, so this may take a while.
I was considering taking a web design coarse to buff up my page just a bit. I�d like to put a ghosted picture in the background. Something that represents me, not a picture of myself, (no one wants that running around the net)
Ok, ok, I�m off to this interview. Wish me luck!
