11:36 P.M.
I was listening to the cd that the doctor burned for me. The more I listen the more I can relate.
The sad part about this cd is the first song. The first song is about this girl and how she�s listening to the radio.
It made me think of James.
I used to listen to the radio late at night when I had insomnia, when I could not sleep.
I would call the dj and talk about anything and everything. He would have me request songs, and he would play brief interludes of my voice introducing songs and weather updates. He would play the songs we could agree were great, and we would stay up late talking, sometimes leading to a heavy debate.
It was thought provoking, it was inspiring and we became �phone buddies�.
Months, or years later I took an Ethics class where my teacher used to talk about his son James. He described this guy who seemed to have so much in common with me, and there was one point where he actually said something about wanting to introduce the two of us�
I listened to the radio all the time. There was a dj who had announced that Tonic was coming. I called to get more information and he offered to take me back stage to meet the band. I was psyched. I called every night for 2 months until the concert actually came around. We would talk about anything and everything in between his weather updates and major announcements.
I would call to request Tonic and we would talk and talk and talk about music for what seemed like forever.
Finally when the concert came to town we met outside the front gate. We went backstage where we met Third Eye Blind. Steve was so unique, but he still wasn�t Emerson. I developed a new respect for Steve�s music and his band after meeting him, but Third Eye Blind just wasn�t Tonic.
I wouldn�t go back and change a thing.
I remember when we went our separate ways I actually wished I had come to the show with James instead of Charlie (Who was cheating on me anyways).
A few days later I broke things off with Charlie when he started acting weird.
A week or two later I called James and he invited me to the Fionna Apple concert. I could not refuse such an offer. Of coarse I said YES!
We met at the show and he took me back stage to watch her sound check. We watched the show and it was so amazing!
After the show we went to meet some of his friends. It was great. He seemed to be such a great guy.
We went on our first official date the following day. We were supposed to go to Busch Gardens but went on a bike ride around Tampa instead. It was a hot summer day and I thought the hot scorching heat would kill me. We ate lunch at the Cactus Club and spent the entire day out doors just talking and getting to know more about each other.
He stole my heart away. I wanted to kidnap him and take him to a deserted island somewhere secret where no one would ever find us.
From that moment on we were attached at the hip for about 7 months. He managed to amaze me a thousand and one times, but each time he would amaze me, he would do something to really hurt me or let me down. He spent so much time taking steps back each time we would take a step forward.
I didn�t mind taking things slow. He was one of my best friends.
It took me months to put it all together. One day he mentioned his old radio name and I realized, this is the same guy I would talk to late at night. This is the same man who my ethics teacher described in all of his best stories.
I can�t believe that I never put it together that James was the same man on the radio late at night, working the graveyard shift, the man playing my requests that would alter the stations play list�
He was the man in the stories my ethics teacher would tell. He was the boy who cut class to go surfing. He was the guy who cut up his own ID as his punishment for cutting class.
He was the same James who had become my own. He was the man who grew up to name an island after me to make up for the fact that we didn�t make it to the popular beach.
Funny, how something so perfect was never meant to be. There were so many days where I thought, �I could grow old with this man��..
And now life goes on�
