10:56 P.M.
With Ryan on the brain I didn't accomplish much....
No, NO, NO, that is not true.
I'm sure that is exactly what you would LIKE to hear, but I got everything done today.
I actually had a great day!
A great ending to a great day!
THANK YOU MAD DOG!!!!
After work, I ventured out to the mall for a change.
A change of clothing, a hairstyle, a change of attitude...A change of anything to make me feel better than I have felt just lately....
I must say that Roy did a great job. This is fabulous. I look in the mirror and admire the BEST haircut I have had in a very, very long time.
I LOVE IT!
The whole time He was cutting my hair I was peering over at the hot guy cutting the old woman's hair. I caught him looking at me here and there but he never said anything.
I wanted to get up the courage to say something as simple as hello but I was aware of my plainness every time I glanced over at my reflection.
After the perfect haircut I was feeling great.
I walked over to Charlotte Ruse to find a shirt that screamed BANG! BOOM! BAM!, and just my luck, I found one.
It's white and it has little cherries scattered all over it.
I was walking the mall aimlessly when I saw a friendly face that I haven't seen in some time...
I creeped over quietly and walked up next to him... I kept his pace for about 5 seconds and then gave him my best improv. dog bark.
He smiled and it totally warmed my heart.
I haven't seen Mad Dog in forever...(I told him I would call him mad dog)
I met him ages ago at Insomnia (that bar I referred to in the post last night).
Well, he used to come in to see my boss all the time.
The first time I met him Jamai' had pointed him out to me. She came back to the kitchen while I was fixing up a plate of food and asked me to go to the bar to refill a guys drink. She said, " Ok now, I want you to go and get him a fresh glass. Give him a shot of vanilla and fill the rest up with coke. After you give him the refill come back here and tell me what you think?"
I was a little nervous. I did exactly what she asked, and he was so suave.
I must say he was a cutie. Very classy and seemingly very mysterious.
I had no clue why she told me to scope him out, because when I brought him his drink he seemed so cold, almost like he was looking straight through me.
It totally turned me on.
We became friends and hung out quite a bit.
He'd never believe me if I told him so,but I've always been attracted to him. He's so much that I could never be, I actually consider him too good for me. He's so much that I'm not....SO perfect in so many ways.....
Totally, I was totally into him.
He was intelligent, he was funny, (man, was he funny), he made me smile, and he is one of the nicest guys I have ever met.
But lets talk about tonight.
Tonight was absolutely wonderful. It was so great to see him again. I have wondered time and time again, "What the hell happened to that guy?"
I would have thought he would forget all about me.
The last time I saw him was in Tampa and he was strangely distant then, so I didn't really make a point of giving him my number.
But tonight, tonight was great.
We went to Ruby's and talked for hours about everything. Old times and future plans.
He's going to be moving into a new house soon, and he seems so happy.
I can say that I am genuinely happy for him. He deserves to be happy. He is one of the hardest working men that I know.
Tonight, one conversation we had he seemed like he had such honest intent, but I don't know why he said it.
He swears that there is something in the eyes of the guys I hang out with. He swears that NO man just wants to be friends with me, and the only reason they are hanging out with me in the first place is just a means to get into my bed at the end of the night...
Ok, fine. I don't see it. I honestly don't see it.
I'm no love goddess, no temptress, and certainly no Venus of the bedroom!
So guys, fantasize all you want, but just know that when it comes down to the reality of it all, I hardly know what I'm doing. I'm not a good lay and I don't really care.
I was never out to win the hoochie of the month patch in girl scouts...
Hell, I hated girl scouts...
The night was great...
**********************************************
I got in my car to drive home and what do ya know...
Gabriel called, then Ryan about 3 min. later. They had both left me messages while I was in the mall.
I'm not calling Gabriel back tonight because it's damn late and I know he wakes up earlier than I do.
I called Ryan; we didn't really talk about much at all.
He had called around 7:30 wondering what I was up to, and by the time I had called him back I was on my way home for a quick shower before bed.
He made a point of telling me that he is going to be working a lot this week and that he will have no time to hang out.
I didn't really care, and I brought that to his attention.
I said, "hell, you gatta do what ya gatta do. We're all busy, and everyone has to work, this is nothing-new Ryan. Just work, and make some money..."
He said, "Wow, I'm glad you understand".
"Ok Ryan, I gatta go."
"Ok, Kell, I'll see you tomorrow night for sure....?"
"Um no Ryan, I'm not sure I'm coming up to the bar, I may head to Tampa with some friends..."
He seemed confused as he said, "ok, well good night."
Goodbye Ryan....
