10:16 P.M.
..
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Well, well�.
Kitty called, I didn�t even have to light a candle� ha ha
His battery was dying halfway through our conversation and he said that he would call me later because he wasn�t finished talking. He still has a �cankles� story that he wanted to tell me abooot.
Apparently the girl he�s been obsessing over at the wing *DING-DONG* house has no ankles.
Wow!
I guess it doesn�t matter though, cause she�s got big BOOBS!
;)
It's always great to hear from him.
It's nice to hear from anyone these days, and it's hard not to hear from Ryan when he's on my mind so much since I've had the Tonic album playing day and night...
I swear that when I heard Emerson sing, "I don't want to think of life without you, I don't want to take a step alone, It scares me to think I almost lost you, Just let me know you're fine,...I'm on the line..." I totally wanted to call him on the phone. I thought about Ryan and thought, wow, what the hell is he up to? I wonder if he even remembers who I am?
and when I ran into him just a while back I heard the lyrics, "I'm thinking of my whole life baby, won't you help me find my way........ Just let me know you're fine....I'm on the line....I don't want to be the one who hurts you, I just want to know that you're alright...."
God, if Ryan ever knew how much I think about him he would feak. How much I have thought about him in the past.... He would be like, "How the hell can this chick be so into me."
I know it, I just know it.
I can smell rejection from a mile away and he wreaks of it...
He's totally let go already, and I'm too ......... I'm too something, and I can't find the word for it....
I'd give up forever to find what I want and part of me found it in part of him.
I'm left tasting that last moment sitting in the car at Bricktown, that moment that seemed to last for an eternity....
and no one will ever understand.....
How can I expect anyone to understand. I don't understand it myself.....
I found something I need in every guy I have been around these past few months.... Weather it's Kitty, Gabriel, Shawn, Ryan, or any of the rest of them, they all made me want to give up being single for a while.....
But each and every one of them is missing something very important....
So now, now I'm silly as ever, and single for eternity....
