9:32 P.M.
Mom wants me to get real.
She wants to hear my back up plan.
She wants to know exactly what I�m going to do when life doesn't go the way I had planned.
I had to ask myself....
Where do your dreams go when life gets in the way?
I look at myself. I'm not an actor, I'm not a singer or a lawyer. Damn, I think I have given up on at least a dozen of my dreams that I thought I would give anything for...
And my favorite dream so far was the lottery plan.
I'm still broke, and no winning ticket...
Since I was, well about 8, all I can remember is having dreams crushed by mom.
NO YOU CAN'T BE A PILOT!
YOU'RE A GIRL, NOT G.I. JOE!
Never once has she encouraged me to go out and �DO� or "BE" anything..
She has told me time and time again, "You will NEVER be a writer, no one ever makes any money writing."
GIVE UP...
Just give up already.....
I remember when I was 18 and working at the bar. I thought I could walk around for the rest of my life serving drinks to drunks....Because hell, every drunk needs to get a drink somewhere....
I wanted to be a comedian.
I wanted to make people smile.
I worked at a very low maintanace bar, beer and wine, no liquor....
No hob-nobbin' snobs, no Perier....
I spent most my time serving to scrubs, and I felt like so many of the drunks practically lived there......
Sometimes I wondered if the drunks left the bar long enough to sleep at night... They were there from open to close...
When I heard comments like, �Do you have seltzer water�
I could just offer to fart in their cup to add bubbles�
My boss never thought it was funny,(in front of customers) and she would act like she was reprimanding me in front of anyone she wanted to impress, but deep down (behind the scenes) she thought I was funny as hell....
It�s always easier to think positive when you have absolutely no obligations or responsibilities..
I want to take over the world, but life keeps getting in my way...
I can't be a server for a living. It's just a job, and mom wants me to have a career...
I watched Dawson�s River Kids and Dawson�s mom had the same plan that my mom had tonight.
Other than mom�s being incredibly annoying, I also related to Joey�s comment. She said that she has never been to a dance that she enjoyed.
Ok, I Don't think I could go back to the school dances, and I don�t recall having much of a blast at those functions.
I may skip out on my 10 year reunion all together...
On Dawson's, there was also a serious issue. Jen�s grandma has been diagnosed with breast cancer. My grandma is actually quite a trooper. She beat cancer herself�. I�m so happy that she is still around.
I know that my grandmother has been going nuts lately trying to deal with my aunts situation.
I�m glad I don�t live there sometimes�
My aunt is trying to sell her car now that she won�t be able to drive it for two years. She wants me to help her find someone to buy it�
I haven�t got a clue
