8:34 P.M.
I met up with Lauren at Fridays and had a huge meal!
We sat at a regular table because I didn't want Ryan to feel uncomfortable.
It's not like we spent much time talking about him, or saying anything that he wouldn't already know. I wasn't blabbing secrets or anything like that; I just didn't feel he wanted to entertain me while he was at work.
As for tomorrow night, he wants to grill out and he really wants me to fit in with his friends....
There may be a slight problem. I went to school with some of them and they would never have anything to do with me then, why would they care now?....
The way I see it, if they don't like me already, I don't have much of a chance to prove them wrong because I don't really care. I'm just there for Ryan.
I wish I had more time alone with him; there is still so much I want to know...
I've been thinking lately, if I had to come up with a cd with a compilation of songs that remind me of him it wouldn't be so difficult.
I'll start working on it tonight. I have a specific reason why each song reminds me of Ryan but I'll keep those reasons inside my head for now...
Not that I will ever give this CD to him.....so far I've got a few songs,
A Million Dollars-Bare Naked Ladies
The Scientist-Cold Play
My Immortal-Evanescence
Posession by Sarah M.
Bubble Toes-Jack Johnson
Ben Folds-Luckiest
David Gray-Be Mine
Goo Goo Dolls-Iris
3 Doors Down-Here with You
Tonic-Sugar
Tonic-Head on Straight.....
Hell, Tonic anything. I swear that when I saw that concert I thought about him every single song. I had only known him for a short while but I was totally into him. I thought that he so closely resembled the lead singer, Emerson.
After the show I went up to the bar to see Ryan to show him the pictures. Every time I look at the pic of me with Emerson backstage at Starfest I think of Ryan. (which is every day because the picture hangs over across from my bed). Maybe that is why I have so many dreams about Ryan....
Well I'm going to go work on some stuff, and I'll write more later if I don't fall asleep first....
