12:27 P.M.
Of coarse I had great dreams last night...
Perfect dreams, those dreams where I say everything the right way the FIRST time it comes out of my mouth. The same dreams where everything feels exactly the way it should with no guilt or reservation...
Sex dreams.
Gatta love those sex dreams..
Last night there were more sex dreams about Ryan.
I had that one where I was a nurse again....
I also had one where I was in his old appartment.
We were sitting on his couch talking about things and I was massaging his feet and then,.... BLAMO...
Oh forget it!
It totally makes sense. Even in my dreams I'm just wanting the things that I can't have.
I started my damn period again, and it totally sucks.
It's all about timing. Last night in the middle of the night I remembered why Ryan and I never worked out in the past.... Conflicting schedules. I never really got to see him. I work the 9-5 Mon.-Fri. Grind, and his schedule is unpredictable. He is a server and usually doesn't get out of work until 3-4 in the am. I'm in bed by then because I have to get up again the next morning at the ass crack of dawn. But maybe this time around, since I am looking for another job I will go back to serving and schedule my classes around that type of a schedule... Maybe I would get to see him more often...
But then again...there's that word TIMING.... We are only friends at this point and I don't even know if he's into me anymore....
I'm always rushing things. This is not the time I want to start my period.
I don't want to have cramps and be laid up in bed today. I wanted to go to the beach.
Tonight, I may go out again with Jenn. We may hit up Ybor City and paint the town RED!
BRIGHT RED!
I'm still in awe. RYAN FINALLY CALLED LAST NIGHT!
We'll hang out again on his next day off. He has a few doubles to work first.
I figure by the time we actually hang out, I will have so much to say. I will have so many great things to say that the stupid things that swim out of my mouth during conversation will be brought down to a minimal...
ha ha
