8:16 P.M.
I'm sick and bored right outta my mind. I can't leave my house, I can't have anyone stop by because I feel like shit. I might as well live in a bubble! I feel so cut off from the world at this moment.
Curt called to let me know that the pictures from the party came out fantastic! He said that there was one shot that came out rather well of me. It was the only shot he took. He also went on to say that Amy is very photgenic. He said the picture that he took of her came out so perfect. I can't wait to see the pics of Troy dressed up in Isabell's dress up accesories.
I had a good dinner. Open face burgers and I think I have a glimpse of energy creeping underneath my skin somewhere.
I started reading "12", the book that Curt gave me. It seems like it's going to be good, but I've only read a few chapters.
I sat here on the computer surfing the net and I'm thinking about going and reading some of my old journal entries. Maybe editing them, or erasing them all together?
Tomorrow night the family is supposed to meet up at Grandma's, but I'm so drained that I don't have an ounce of pleasantness left in my body. My table edicate could lack a certain luster because it hurts to sit straight upright. My whole body aches.
I can't picture myself passifying anyone's ego's either. I just don't have the energy, or the drive to create the energy. I'm not looking forward to the arguments that are guaranteed at tomorrow nights dinner. I really wish my grandfather was still around. I miss him so much this time of year.
I was listening to a Counting Crows CD earlier, and it makes me want to put some clothes on so I can drive up to Best Buy. I want to go up to the store to buy the new Counting Crows album.
Then, there are a few albums that I really want to buy.
Cold Play, Matchbox 20, DMB's newer one, Brian McNight, Counting Crows and a few others....
I've got too much running through my head all at once. I can't gather my thoughts for more than 2 min. before my mind wonders to another topic of thought.
Now that my sister is home, she is working at the nasty shack that I worked at for all of a month. She likes it there. I hated it. I still think back to it and never miss it. I don't think anyone really liked me there anyway. I was always trying to hard to relate to people from another planet. I don't even speak their fucking language!
I wonder what my friends are out doing? They are probably out having fun, enjoying their time off of work and school.
Tomorrow is going to be such a long day, and an even longer night. I'm dreading seeing my aunt, and grandma is so depressed and it hurts to see her like that.
My room is finally clean!
I still have a 50lb. block of clay sitting in the corner waiting to be carved, or sculpted...
It makes me miss Troy.
I wish I were out having fun.....
I guess I'm going to go watch a movie or something. I gatta get away from this computer. I gatta try to shut my mind of so I can get some sleep tonight...
