10:25 P.M.
Diary~
I hate that it's come to this....
I actually have to coax myself into moving on with my life.....
I used to see him an my heart would sink into the bottom of my stomach. I would fight for words, I would lose my self in his deep dark gaze.
But tonight.....
I was walking in the mall with Amy. We were wondering around looking for a toy to bring to the ball tomorrow night.
I had met her out there to help with Christmas shopping. I also needed to pick up a pair of silver slippers for the Ball.
What would Cinderelly be without her slippers....right?
Well, we were walking and I didn't even see him comming towards me. I looked up....and
BAM!!
there he was. Like grease lightning...or something like that.
He was walking with someone, but for a moment I couldn't see or hear anything around me. Time stood still. Just long enough for me to notice that he has gained at least 150lbs, and he has really let himself go.
All I could think was, "I wonder if he will be at the ball tomorrow night?"
I did see him.
Time DID stand still.
But my heart didn't sink into my stomach the way that it has done so many times.... for years upon years....
His gaze still paralyzed me....
I was so shocked that I stopped talking in mid-sentance, and almost did a double take. I waited until he was clear around the ice skating rink to take a look back in his direction. I wanted to make sure that he had plenty of time to clear the corner before I looked back. I didn't want him to catch me eyeing his behind....
As Amy and I walked I told her a bit about him, and the way that things never really worked out between us.
As sucky as it is, he was the one I used to love. Not just love, I was IN LOVE at one time.
I thought he fell off the face of the earth.
The last I had heard he picked up and moved off to Colorado to start his life all over.....
I wonder if he is just passing through, visiting his family, or if he is here to stay.
Do I care?
SICK KELLY!
SICK!!!
Don't even go there....
you only miss your water when your well runs dry. It's nothing more...Things never worked out for a reason!
MOVE ON!!!
