12:40 P.M.
Diary~
Burn the house down already!!
The fire alarm is going off in my house!!!....I just checked, it was dad burning his cheese and bacon sandwiches in the toaster oven. He was so confused and he was panicking. I just went out to help him. Damn, there was a lot of smoke, from just a little cheese and bacon...I gave dad my subway sandwich, and now I'm eating cheese and bacon instead. I think it's way more important for him to eat right...He needs to get better.
Feeling a bit better today. I went to work this morning and things are moving pretty steady. I took off for lunch exactly at noon so I know that the rest of the day is going to drag on...The kids were home sick today and they are pretty loud. I figure when I get back they'll be sleeping. All kids play loud; there is just no way around it. It's funny, hearing them playing, I wish I were out playing and not working... :)
Last night I was watching "Serendipity" and I missed feeling such a strong connection with one person.
It's been a while, and still, since Zach, not even Ben was strong enough.
Things would never work out with Zach, and I'm fine with that.
But what if I finally settle down with a guy that I really like enough to date, and then someone comes along and really blows me away.
Seriously.
Maybe I just shouldn't date.
The connection I found with Zach was instant. Hard to describe.
But then I look at my past relationships that were not instant. They went fine. I ended up just as bent out of shape in some of them, and I even ended up staying friends with most of my x's. It may sound crazy, but I would probably date a handful of them if they would just appologize. But that's probably just my Christmas spirit talking. I guess I figure no one should spend the Holidays alone, and I know more than one of my x's is probably feeling pretty alone right now. Hell, I know people who could be in a room full of people and still feel so alone....
Those instant attractions that I can remember from my past, they lead almost nowhere, but the way I felt was so awesome. So great! I completely lost sight of everything and everyone around me.
I haven't heard from Zach in what seems like forever. And when I do hear from him he seems detached. I just wish we could have been better friends in the end.
I dunno why I care?
Last night I talked on the phone a lot and now my throat is kinda scruffy feelin...
I notice now, I don't write well. I write how I speak, and if this is how I speak I need some grammar lessons to get rid of all my slang....
Late last night, Kitty called. He invited me to go see DMB with him next week. I don't know weather or not to take him seriously. I don't want to get my hopes up if he'd really rather go with someone else...I'd love to see the show but I figure that he'd be better off taking one of the wing house girls. At least if he took one of them he'd get a piece of ass out of it...j/k
Tonight Amy wants to go out. I'm looking forward to it. I haven't seen her in a while....
Ryan decided to act civil today. He may want to meet up with Amy and I later tonight. He said that he's been sending me lame ass messages because I am basically not personable enough.
Oh.... well....I'll work on it.
