11:53 p.m.
Diary~
I have this rain cloud over my head.... It's presence frightens me. It's not going anywhere soon... I may have finished the laundry, but I can't sleep...
Ok, so maybe sleep is over rated? Who knows?
I can't get NONE!!
Is it stress or hormones?
I'm sitting up watching the story of the Dixie Chics.
I wish I had the guts to get up on stage and sing my heart out.
I've only belted out notes in front of my closest friends, but when I start they've begged me not to stop.
I had a dream that I was singing to a guy last night.
He was laying with his head in my lap. We were on a big blue couch with big pillows. I was running my fingers through his hair. I think he was playing guitar because I could hear guitar music.... I think I was singing a Dixie Chics song.....
I wish I could write my own songs....
I've given lyrics to countless bands and they make up the melody, but I've never been able to sing any of my own music.
I just ate the pepperoni that was in the fridge. I know that can't be good for my period cramps, and it will probably be enough to keep my body up all night. I couldn't resist. It was just sitting there....calling me...."kellllllllllllllly".
I've resisted so much temptation today.
I haven't spent any more money on my credit cards... They are maxed but earlier I didn't care. I was going to try to buy more crap anyways.
I'm glad I stayed home.
I hate feeling like I am tied and I can't get free.
I'm in this situation that I put myself into, and my parents need money just as badly as anyone I know.
They just bought this house and I don't know if they will be able to keep it if they don't get more money soon.
More than ever I am praying to win the lotto.
I know everything happends for a reason, and maybe, just maybe this new job will be enough to get me back on my feet again.
My boss, Jeff is already talking about me taking some classes to learn the applications I will be using at work. That would be nice.
I do wish I didn't have to wake up for work tomorrow. I need some sleep. I think at best, now I could only get about 6 hours of sleep.
Maybe I should just read a book?
Great idea. I'll go read that book I didn't finish...
I can't wait until this rain cloud passes!!
