1:25 p.m.
Diary~
Today.....today started so late. I wanted to stay in bed forever. I day dreamed about vacations and secret get aways. I want to take a day trip somewhere. Even if it's only on a single tank of gas....
I only decided to get out of bed when I realized that the world is going to go on weather I'm sleeping or not. The world goes on without me all the time. No one is waiting around for me. There really is no rush, but I guess I don't want to be left behind. I got up and showered....I checked the messages on the machine. Some good, some bad... I don't want to be obligated to do anything.....
One in particular message was from the job offer that I still haven't settled into. I'm afraid that this guy wants me to be someone I'm not. He keeps stressing that he needs someone around for the long run and I feel there is nothing I can say to assure him that I'm not going anywhere. I've been babysitting for the same family for 5 years....maybe that comment would help ease his doubts... I talked to Amy this morning and she wants me to stop by tomorrow to hang out with the kids so she can do some errands and go to the gym. The kids were home sick today. Bummer. I don't want to get sicks again.....
My doubts come with this guys job description....The tasks that he wants me to perform. I need to take some classes of some sort to fit the requirements. Maybe when he brings up the web design aspect of the job I can just reffer him back to one of my friends who actually does this for a living. Then again I've got so many friends who invested their time for years to try to get a job in the web design field. They finished school with a certificate and can't find a job in the field. The last time I checked, Troy was still doing construction, and Pete is still working at the Italian Resteraunt. They both have degrees in the field and never had a chance to really put it to work for a company who wants it's employees around for the long haul.
I also think of Ryan. He does this stuff for a living and has quite a few clients. He must be very good at what he does. He seems confident..
And then there is "dork". He does that web design stuff for fun. He hadn't taken any classes that were like Pete or Troy's classes.
Me....Well. I have not done much with web design at all. Everything that I know about web design I had learned from other people who actually tried to learn something about it because they were interested in it.
I can handle the office organization aspect of the job. I have done that many, many times...
I just want to start working already. I have too much time to write in this stupid diary, and I'm thinking way too much..
It was strange last night. I sat there in the hall way of this club thinking about a list I had made in the past. This list of qualities that the perfect man would have.
I realized that none of the guys that I currently know have the majority of those things that I'm looking for. I need to keep looking..... I truely want a guy who can play pianno and sing me Billy Joel songs. A man that can carry a tune in the bucket.
I wonder what would have happend if I would have gone up to the pub in Ybor that one night. That one night when a stranger had invited me after watching a show. He promised to play me some songs on the pianno. He said that he would attempt to play some Ben Folds if I would just follow him across the street to the pub. I should have gone. I guess if It is meant to be I will stumble across the stranger once again.
I'm sitting here listening to Billy Joel now. I love this stuff.... I wish I didn't give up on pianno lessons.
I love the smell of the cold air outside. A faint smell of fire wood burning in the distance at night.... The cold crisp air...Tonight should be a full moon. I can dig out my favorite sweaters!
I can't believe that it's almost 2 in the after noon.... I'm going to go find something productive to do instead of calling someone I wanted to talk to. (just because I thought of him in Orlando). I'm stubborn like that. Oh, let's call it tenacity! Ha.... I'm off to do anything at all......anywhere but here...
