8:46 p.m.
Diary~
Ok, so I didn't go to bed as early as I would have planned. This lack of sleep is making me feel bitter. It even leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to see anyone.... I just want to sleep!!!
I took a Nyquil and went to the mall with mom and dad. I ran into Nick and he asked me to invite Jovan and Jenn to the party so he could hit on Jovan's girl friend. That's just crap and disrespectful. I got home hoping that the combo of excersizing and the Nyquil would knock me out .
Maybe?........ not so much.
It's not working at all. I want to take some sleeping pills to ensure I'll get a good nights sleep tonight but the only sleep aides I have are Nyquil and Tylenol PM. I'm not going to mix the 2.
I came home to check all of the email accounts I have on different sites under countless names.
Nothing amazing.
Nothing from friends..... Just people who have seen one of my profiles somewhere along the line. These people are strangers, yet they feel the need to write me to tell me that they are interested in meeting me... RIGHT. or not... I'm not going to hook up with someone I meet online. It's just not going to happen.
And what is this crap with my PIM account. I logged on for just 5 min and recieved about 30 im's all at once. Most of them from guys with names that I can't pronouce because they are from other continents across the wide open Atlantic.
And Ryan. Ryan never fails to say, "hey there, what are you doing RIGHT NOW".
I just closed all of the IM windows and began typing in this silly diary. I figure this may be one of my last entries.
I found an old Poem today that KC used to ask me to read up at Insomnia. It's called dork. I wrote it about this guy Derek who managed to really piss me off about 3-4 years ago.
DORK
dork! dork! dork!
I want to beat you with a fork, fork, fork
You�re such a dork, dork, dork
It rhymes with pork, pork, pork
I wish you'd move to New York! New York! New York!
You�re suck a geek! geek! geek!
You think you're sheik, sheik, sheik
You make me wanna take a leak, leak, leak
I want to smack you in the beak, beak, beak
You�re such a geek, geek , geek
I probably wont hear from you for weeks! weeks! weeks!
But I don�t care, care, care
Cause you're never there, there, there
I want to sprinkle you with nare, nare, nare
Till you are bare, bare, bare
Cause you're not fair, fair, fair
Maybe you shouldn't play with your underwear! underwear! underwear!
So maybe you should just drop dead! dead! dead!
And get me out of your hollow head! head! head!
Take back the shit that you fed! fed! fed!
And think about this poem instead! instead! instead!
I hope you turn red, red, red
And remember what I said, said, said......
It's a lamo poem but I thought of it tonight when we drove by Insomnia on the way home.... I hate that poem, but so many people remember it, and associate me with it now......
I'm going out of my mind. I hate the fact that the holidays are comming and I can't see the people that I used to be so close to in the past. I recieved an email from Troy today . He wanted to thank me for laying on his bed the day that he turned 22 so he could film me making fart noises and laughing for a few min. He said that he really enjoyed the memories even now when we don't see eachother. That thank you kinda hurt more than it soothed me. I still wish things could be the way they were a long time ago when we were such good friends..... I miss those times too. Those memories always bring a smile to my face....
He sent me some of the art work that he has been working on. It really brightened my day. I love his art work. I still have pictures framed of the stuff that he took pictures of a while back.
I have a lot of framed pictures of my friends in my room. The other day I considered taking the pictures out of their frames and putting them in boxes. I'm tired of looking at the people I've lost touch with. I've made countless attempts to try to stay in touch but no one seems to care anymore..
I write too much down. I'll probably come back to my diary and edit out the parts that I don't want people reading..... I haven't sensored myself enough lately.....
After I get a job I won't be dedicating so much time to this thing...
