9:55 p.m.
Diary~
I decided to put the poem back, with a few added lines. I guess it was inspired most by the discussion that we had about finding someone "new". Finding someone who you are so interested in, that you lose sight of your self.
It wasn't really about a specific person, some what hypothetical. The poem was not too carefully thought through....
I've learned my lesson
But I�m still talking to him online
Exchanging deep confessions
But where do I draw the line
Does he know what they say
When he�s not around
Maybe they are just jealous that they
Never found what he has found
I don�t really care about gossip
I think I like him just as well
I�m not looking for relationships
But I like the stories that he tells
Sometimes I don't know what I'm saying
I feel like my ship could sink
I don't get involved in the games I'm playing
Leaving little time to think
He said he doesn�t think I�m a dumb blonde
But I still feel like an ass
His ideas about me are not fond
So easily he walks right past
He probably wants someone I'm not
Someone with sophisticated taste
A girl sexy and hot
She makes me appear as a waste
He claims girls can walk with truth
And some have clean sweat
He likes tangible proof
And a girl who can help him forget
I want to forget about myself
Lose myself tonight
Become someone else
Someone that almost feels right
I want to lose myself in a crowd
Float above all this
Orgasm and scream out loud
Lose myself in bliss
So much I don't remember
Each moment conversing with him
Minutes ago I was lost in December
And now it doesn't feel so grim
He is too expensive
Something I can't afford
So intellectual and pensive
I would guess he drives a Honda accord
No, he drives a van
And lives so far away
The lead singer of a sensual band
With something important to say
He's got his vices
He makes my logic seem rash
He goes for high prices
And it's not all about cash
It�s not the money
It�s something more
It feels funny
What am I looking for
My black and white is still unresolved
As I approach another cold season
Not that I�m involved
Because I've got my own stupid reasons
I can't sell the gifts I've bought
To try to become more appealing
Think of the lessons I�ve been taught
He says I can't take back what I�m revealing
I find myself letting go of my resistance
Letting go of my fears
I hear my inner conscience
And it tells me to think clear
So clearly out of my mind
Desperate to feel anything at all
I don�t want to think of what I�ve left behind
Or worry about the fall
So careful of the words I choose
Desperately not wanting to regret
I have too much to lose
With each step forward I forget
Forget my self
As I crawl into Bed
Maybe tomorrow I'll wake up as someone else
Someone I�ve kept tucked in the back of my head
By: Kelly T
