4:11 a.m.
Dawn is coming soon Diary~
It's way past my bedtime. I debated even writing this entry. I am beat. Dead tired...
But there is so much running through my mind right now.
Amy and I finally made it out to Ybor....
I called John to let him know that we were on our way and he was only about a mile or two behind us. We were already on the interstate but I waited for him to catch up so we could park together and walk to the club. I was driving 40 mph. with my emergency flashers on, while he was racing at a speedy 75 mph. trying to catch up to us...We met up and parked.
We headed to that cigar bar to meet Holly. Once again, I found myself really getting into the music of the Beauvilles. I didn't want to leave right away because it was nice.
We headed off to go bar hopping after a few songs.
Nothing too exciting in the bar scene. Just the usual leg humpers, ex boyfriends, or friends of ex's. Small world....I don't even want to talk about x's for a while, weather it's my x, or my friends' x...I'm tired of it. I just want to live in the present for a while and quit worrying about my past.....This is not a dress rehearsal, this is LIFE!......uuuuuuuugh...
I found myself back at the cigar bar later that night to say hello to Randy and Shawn, to let them know that I had actually made an effort to come out and see them...I really wish I had one of their cd's to listen to.. I told everyone sitting at my table earlier in the night that I felt the Beauvilles� music was the stuff I could picture myself dancing to...
I would be dancing to it in my underwear, and sox, on my hard wood floor...I don't have a hard wood floor, and I don't have their cd, so I guess I won't be living out my vision any time soon..
..
Later tonight, I got into a long conversation with Randy about something or another, worked on sobering up, met some of Holly's friends, or were they Shawn's friends? and noticed all of the black and white art work on the walls...
I'm excited about going to see Ben Folds tomorrow night....
When I was standing there, out of the blue I felt one of the best feelings I have felt in a while.... Someone from behind...it was refreshing, and he wasn't humping my leg! He was massaging my shoulders. It's hard to describe how good it felt, but after working so many hours and lifting heavy trays, it was almost enough to give me an O-Face...ha, ha... ok, maybe it did give me an O-Face, I lost track of reality....
But the comment that followed the brief massage was.....confusing?...I said, "that feels so good", and he said, "It could be"...
What is that supposed to mean?
It WAS good! It was great, as short as it was, I would take it over and over again...
It made me want to call up my massage therapist and make a future appointment. I haven't seen her in months....I think a good massage is exactly what I need....
I left that scene to return to my other friends who were still hanging out in the "Leg humpers" bar... We danced for a while and stayed until "last call"...
On the drive home, we listened to Aerosmith, and "Sweet Emotions" it reminded Amy and I of all the time we spent watching Dazed And Confused on Cory's couch...all those nights, I had to sneak around just to be with him....Was it ever worth it?
But those times were good for Amy and I. The times in high school that we will never forget.
The comment that she made tonight, when we were driving, she said, "there's no place I'd rather be"...that moment in the car while I was driving I was thinking the exact same thing...Thinking how lucky I am to have the friends I grew up with.. And to have SOME of those memories. I don't have all of them but I have a severe concussion to blame for that one...It won't get better, but I've got plenty of photos to jog my memory....
I'm home now, kinda bored, wishing I had someone to chat with....It's about 4:30 am, and I can't sleep...
I came home to check my mail tonight...
Nothing peachy...but rather grim.
Troy's response to my dying fish, how he said that they live a life so much alike....It bothered me. It worried me. I hope he's ok...I don't want him to dye. I don't want either one of them to leave....
