2:15 a.m.
Appeased Diary~
Tonight turned out much better than originally expected. It�s very late and I am still awake�once again!
I saw Glen online just before I decided to log offline around 11:00. It was great to chat with him again. It�s been well over a month since I�ve heard his voice.
He�s a comforting person to talk to. No matter what is bothering me, it seems that he has been through the exact struggle that I am stressing about.
He always reinstates my faith in so many things, weather it�s God, Karma, or my faith in man kind, and a mans ability to still be human�
He called right after I signed off for the night and we talked about so much. It brought back so many great memories of my vacation to Colorado. It reminded me how the most memorable days are usually the ones that aren�t planned. The way I still want to believe in fate. Trying to remember that the days that I will be able to reflect back on in the future are the ones that came along my way completely by chance. My time in Colorado was much to short!
I was glad to get to know Curt a little better while I was there. He was the perfect host! Other than the part where he recommended that I try a burrito that was a close relative to a 2 Lb. Dirty diaper! YUCK!! . I don�t think I would have gotten to know him so well through email correspondence. It was great to go out and see the sites of Colorado with him. Hiking and Climbing. That trip may have affected my life forever�
I remember meeting Glen and Ben on my trip to Colorado the very first week of July this year. We didn�t have a chance to bond until the very last weekend that I spent on vacation. We exchanged poetry and journal entries.
Ben�s poetry was well spoken. His words were similar to that of Shakespeare. He captured so much emotion and life within the text of his writings. There was so much to Ben that attracted me to him. I wrote so much about the attraction itself after I returned from Colorado. We had the same passion, respect and dedication to music in general. We had similar taste in music and movies. He introduced me to Ben Folds. He was just a very inspiring person. His strong opinions, and sleek style�.He was unique in the way he let his hair just fly all over the place. I still have the pictures of him striking his best GQ pose�Ha,
I think I deleted a few of the poems about Ben because I felt ashamed for wanting to get to know someone who was so unobtainable. After time went by I started to feel like I meant about as much to him as a wet paper towel.
I know I didn�t keep �The Money Shot� for very long.
He was a million miles away, and I wasn�t going to chase the dream of a perfect guy ever again�.
When I say �again�, I mean 2nd to Zach. I spent almost a year fantasizing about the perfect dimensions, and inner workings of Zach. I think some guys down here in Florida hated Zach based on the fact that I adored him so much. I remember when I met Zach I was so attracted to him. I wanted to get to know him so well, even though he was living in Ohio. I would check my mail everyday anticipating a new email from him.
At this moment I don�t even remember why I was so into Zach at first. Maybe it was because he strongly resembled Jim, the guy I dated for so long in high school? Maybe it was the way that we communicated and seemed to have a lot in common at one time? Maybe it was the fact that I thought he had a strong resemblance to Noah Wylee from E.R.? Ha�. Noah is such a hottie!
Glen�s journals brought so much needed inspiration. I would read the entries while sitting on Bens couch and reminisce about the days of my past that seemed to be a mirror image to what he would write about.
Glen and I ended up talking tonight about some of the first things that we learned about each other.
He remembered that deep down, I�m just a tomboy, in a flannel shirt and convers all star tennis shoes�. He had already heard most of the stories that made me who I am today, and he listened.
Glen is a great listener. He gives some pretty great advice too. It definitely brought a smile to my face to hear from him tonight�.
The conversation tonight made me remember how important the �Ben Folds� show is to me. Ben Folds was the first songwriter I was able to relate to for the longest time. This chance to see him at the end of the month may be my last chance for a long time.
Just a few hours ago, I would have written something along the lines of:
�Dear Diary- What a day�
I�m still pissed at Jay.�
And now, I could care less�.
I�m so happy that Glen called. It was so great to hear from him. I�m usually happy to get a surprise phone call from a distant friend. I�m happy that Glen is doing so well, and he gives me hope that tomorrow could prove to be an even better day!
