1:37 a.m.
Dilly Dally Diary~
Dilly Dally Diary~
I am home now....
After I returned home from Heidi's baby shower I ate some food and immediately hit the sack. I slept from about 5:30 until 10:30.
Eric called and left a message while I was sleeping. I woke up to go to the bathroom and called him back.
He still planned on hanging out tonight, so I got off the phone and took an ice cold shower to attempt to wake myself up. I didn't want to break plans with him two nights in a row. I'm really trying to be more sensitive about other people�s feelings....
I left for his house around 11:00, and surprisingly it only took about 25 min. to get to his place.
We just sat around on the couch watching Bedazzled. I hate that movie! I was tired. I'm sure he could tell that I was exhausted. I didn't really feel like kissing anyone. I felt too lazy to kiss...Is this possible.? Can you be too tired to kiss?
I only stayed for a little over an hour because I could hardly keep my eyes awake. I'm sure that the drive home was worse than trying to drive drunk. I don't know what the heck is wrong? Why am I soooo tired all of a sudden?
I tried my best to stay awake for the drive home, chewing on sweet tarts, mints, and smarties....
The drive home was longer than the drive there. There was no traffic on the road, but there were cops on every corner...
I took US19 and passed a few structures that kindled old memories....
First, was the sports store, Bill Jacksons, where my dad and I went to look for a tent a few years back. Kris had planned a road trip and told me that if I wanted to join him I would need some supplies...Kris later told me that I couldn't go camping with him. He told me I was too "high maintenance". I was too much trouble to bring on the road because I didn't want to go 2 weeks without a shower....I told him it wasn't high maintenance it was hygiene.
I was pleased to pass the lotto posting sign. It stated that no one won the huge jackpot over the weekend. The next shot at the prize adds up to be about 32 million bux. I could spend that.....
After I passed the sports store I drove past all the major booby bars lined up on US19. I thought about Vinny. He used to work the door for one of those bars when we were dating. He would call me drunk from the bar every night telling me how much he loved me, and I usually hung up on him.
I passed the 3rd landmark. The dealership where I bought my car a few years ago. It made me want to trade it in for a newer model because it's been acting funny. The radio antenna won't go up, It won't go down, I can hear the motor underneath it trying to move it, but the thing won't budge.! It's just jammed at half mass. I can't get any clear radio stations to come in. The reception sucks! The brake light is on constantly. The window tint has holes in it. My trunk won't open without a long drawn out knock down battle! I need to clean the intake filter...I've needed to clean it for about 30,000 miles...The passenger speaker sounds like it's going out. The carpets have denfinately seen better days. The windshield is all scratched up. The bumper is dented. The passenger window is slow to move. The sun roof hesitates to open or close. I definately don't have the money for any repairs. I can't even afford to replace the windshield wipers at the time..
The 4th structure I passed was the Major Denny�s. We used to hit up the joint after a hard night of partying in Ybor, or when we couldn't find anything else to do when all of the coffee shops were closing at 1 or 2.
Tonight�s drive was long and tedious. It was nice seeing Eric but I think I've pretty much assured myself that he has little interest in getting to know me. The way we just sit there. We don't really talk. He makes me all giddy, and that is starting to make me feel uncomfortable. He also seems puzzled by the fact that I said I wanted to hang out with him on his next day off. He was surprised that I enjoyed his company? I'm not sure what it is. His response to my proposal was less than joyful.
I may just give up; I don't want to waste his time. He kids around about me being prude, but I know deep down when people are kidding, they usually mean what they are kidding about 90% of the time. They only joke about it for one of two reasons, they don't want to get rejected, or they don't want to come out and be mean....
I'm trying so hard not to be a bitch. Watching everything I'm saying and doing. Walking on eggshells. I'm so worried about offending someone some days that I don't know who I am anymore.
Tomorrow is another day. I need to get up early to read the paper to lock down a job. Once again I find myself noticing out of the corner of my eye that there is a gray lump of clay sitting in the corner. It is still wrapped in the plastic that it came in.
Virgin Clay....
Since tomorrow is another day, maybe I will break out the tools and start sculpting my next masterpiece....
