9:55 p.m.
~Lukewarm Diary~
Unresponsive!
He still hasn't called!
I gave him my number on Wednesday night, and He still hasn't called. What the hell is going on? Is it because I've been online so mucH?
BUt I can't expect you to be responsive......
You're just a f*ckin diary!
I just got home from eating fondu with heidi and dad came to ask me if I have taken him to a number of places this week. Then he said that he has been taking HIMSELF to his appointments, which in reality is not possible. MOm took his car keys as soon as he had the surgery. He can't drive for another few months. He is extremely frustrated. He feels like mom is playing games with him, when she tells him that he can not drive himself anywhere.
When he decided to have this surgery he had to give up a fair ammount of his independance, and I think it's really killing him. It would kill anyone to feel confused some times durring the day.
I had jaw surgery a few years back and I had NO freedom.
It was supposed to be a 4 hour surgery, but ended up being so much longer. They were going to fix my tmj and remove 4 wisdome teeth, but found that there were complications. It pretty much sucked. I spent 2 months with an ice bonnet around my face. I had physical therapy for a long time before and after the surgery YUCK! There were so many gory details but I'm not going into it right now.
Tonight me and Heidi were supposed to work on her acceptance speech. She has been working so hard with "The Kimberly Home" to get financial assistance with her soon to be born little boy. The director of the program asked her to do a speech at their graduation banquit. (I have written so many speeches so I offered to help her with her outline.)
Well, tonight was a flop. We didn't even start on her outline for her speech, and I ended up showing her a very scarry email that I recieved a while back. She definately jumped!
We headed out for cheese and chocolate Fondu after a few hours of not working on anything important.
I began craving Fondu last Wed. Night when I ran into "Juice", one of my friends at Jave. He said that he wanted to take me out for fondu. It seemed like such a great idea. I love fondu. Well, big surprise, I think this is the 2nd time that he has asked for my number and never called me. Thanks Juice! I officially feel like shit. It's one thing to play hard to get, but this is rediculous!
I remember when I first met him. He told me his name was Apple Juice, and I didn't believe him. I said, "Is that the name your mother gave you?" He was dressed like a hippie, smelt like pichule, and had dreads down to his shoulders, and a smile that charmed the most bitter girl in the room.(ME) At first all we ever did was argue. He saw that I had a lot of friends at Insomnia, and I don't know what he thought of that. when he would come into a room he would look in my direction and send me a bitter gaze. I'm sure he thought I was a big air head. I enjoyed talking to him, even in the begining when he seemed to just want to pick a fight with me. I found it intruiging that he could argue his opinions. I think our first debate was over capital punishment. He was very passionate about his opinions.
He later ended up working with one of my friends. I don't think he liked her very much, because he talked a lot of crap for a while.
It took a while for Juice to seem comfortable around me. Once he was comfortable he never entered or left the room without giving me a hug. That was nice. For a while I think he was the only person I hugged. He was one of the most comforting parts about going to insomnia. I remember going up and reading my poetry in front of a crowd, and he would usually come up front to listen to me. I hated the smell of pechuli until I smelled it on him. For some reason, it smelled sensual on him. I wasn't the only one to notice his sensuality. Most of my friends had a crush on him at one time or another. I kept my secret crush extra quiet, hoping it would soon disapate. He never called.....Am I turning into the same bitter girl that I was when we first met? If I do, I'm sure I can contribute part of the matamorphasis to him, right? RIGHT!!
