6:24 P.M.
I ran into another old flame last night.
There I was… all dressed up as a lion tamer..... “TRAMP!”
I could see from the look on his face he was rather disgusted, but I wasn’t sure if it was the costume, or ME?
I haven’t seen him in a long time, and of all the places I never thought I’d run into him out in a club because he doesn’t drink.
I guess it doesn’t matter that I bumped into him out in public because I saw him as Gary was walking me out to my car. It’s just that lately I’ve been wondering how many times I’m going to have to get close to someone before I stop getting burned and just settle down
I got to thinking… I was so involved with the guy I bumped into last night and yet we never lived together. I lived with Kitty for about a year, and never got engaged.
Two totally opposite sides of the spectrum.
Because I didn’t sleep last night, the day today moved by at the speed of sludge.
My phone was ringing off the hook and I just wanted to be left alone.
Literally…
And I got to thinking.. if I lived with anyone TODAY, I would probably go nuts.
I think everyone has things they need to do to settle down after a long day, and your need for alone time is usually amplified after being stuck in traffic.
I got to thinking about Kitty again and how he’d push me away when I’d rush up to hug him when he got in from work. Suddenly I understood.
Today when I got home, the dogs were going crazy to greet me and I just wanted to be left alone.
Why couldn’t I practice more restraint in that department..
How the hell am I supposed to start over again. I can’t imagine sharing my little space with anyone. I don’t have any extra room, for any additional shit.
The hardest thing about living with someone is arguing, and leaving… and then having to go back and live together again. Sometimes we just need someone…a referee if you will to tell us our comments are out of line.
There are so many times I’ve gotten so angry and I wished someone would have told me to get in my corner before I said something stupid.
Rrgggh.
I swear I have A.D.D. I can't shut my brain off to just relax!
